8 - "Therefore I Am"

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My eyes snap open at the sound of muffled voices outside my door. I take a deep breath as I hear their words hissing, and release it as I look down at my arm. 'Clever', I thought. My arms and hands were fully covered in some sort of metallic cloth, and I was restrained to a chair in some sort of observation room; the door was behind glass several inches thick. It otherwise looked like a hotel room.

"Mr. Stark, it appears Miss Y/L/N has woken up." An automated voice over an intercom system said.  

"You're robot's a snitch, Mr. Stark." I said as the door opened. Inside walked Stark, Barnes, and Rogers. 

"He keeps me informed." He tucked his hands in his pockets. 

"So, you know who we are, and we know who you are." Rogers prodded, but I stayed silent. "Anything you want to share?" Still, I didn't speak. He waited for a while before asking, "how'd you get in my building?"

I just smiled.

"How'd you break into four S.H.I.E.L.D. bases, alone, in a week?" Rogers asked.

"Guys." Barnes spoke up, then turned to me with a small smile. "How about we start simple, Y/N?" Barnes joined in.

"That's not my name."

"She speaks!" Stark threw his hands up.

"Shut up Stark." Barnes hissed. "Well, what do you want us to call you?"

I stayed silent.

"How about Erin?" Stark asked.

I stayed silent.

"Great. So, Erin, what were you doing at a Hydra office you had no reason to be at?"

"Stark, could I see you outside?" Rogers didn't give him a chance to respond, just opened the door and led him out as Stark rolled his eyes. Barnes and I sat in silence for a few moments until I spoke up.

"Longing, rusted, furnace-" I quickly switched to Russian.

"Not going to work." He stopped me. "How about instead you tell me about this?" He pulled my journal from his pocket. 

I pretended to be surprised. "Where did you get that?"

"You left it in your room when you ran away. I haven't read it yet."

"Why not? I'm the enemy, aren't I?"

"Not to me. Y/N-"

"Erin." I corrected.

"Erin. I may not fully understand what happened to you, but I understand some of it. Please, let me help you." He seemed genuinely concerned about me.

"Oh yeah, let me trust the person who tied me up, just like them." I sneered.

"It was for our safety. I know what you can do, why all your missions were successful."

"Because I'm a good agent."

"Yes. But your powers certainly helped. Altering memories, even erasing them? Seeing their life, listening to their thoughts, all in a single touch."

"Right now Mr. Rogers is currently praying for the patience to not hit Mr. Stark. Mr. Stark is thinking he's being smart." 

"And what about me?" He asked.

"You're thinking you can help me. You're thinking of the first time you saw Mr. Rogers, how you remembered your best friend. How you almost killed him." I snidely replied.

"That's enough." Romanoff said.

"Miss Romanoff. You're thinking-"

"I said that's enough. Barnes, care to join us?" She gestured out the door. He turned back and looked at me, then nodded. They both filed out of the room, and when the doors closed, the lights turned off. 

'Might as well sleep.' I was exhausted anyway.

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It was dark. I was crouched down, waiting for the guard to pass.  His boots clicked on the hard floor, but he walked past without seeing me. I snuck to the next corridor, stopping at the cell marked E-15. I quickly bypassed the lock, and swung open the door.

"Erinnerung!" My best friend quietly squeaked with excitement. "I knew you would rescue me!" She was smiling, looking at me expectantly. But I stayed where I was. "Y/N?" Her smile slowly fell.

"Agent Verdienen, you have failed your mission. You know the consequences." I pulled a silenced gun out of my belt. "Hail Hydra." I chanted.

"Erin, no, wait-" The gun fired, silencing my closest friend forever, and I was the one who pulled the trigger. Her small body slumped over, and the necklace she always wore was tainted crimson by her own blood.

We were nine.

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My eyes snap open at the sound of metal softly banging. I take a deep breath and I realize I'm under a blanket, and release it as I look around. I was no longer restrained, but my arms were still covered. I was in a plain room, with light blue walls, a dark wood desk, and two doors. One of the doors looked like solid metal, while the other was cloudy glass.  The lights slowly brightened, and I was greeted by the AI again. Soon I heard a beeping, and the metal door opened to reveal Barnes.

"Are you alright?" He asked, closing the door behind him.

"I'm fine." I sat up. "Where have I been moved to?"

"This is your new room. I convinced them to let you have one where you could roam more freely. With some modifications, of course." He replied, pointing at the door.

"Let me guess: vibranium?" I asked. He nodded. "And there's no doorknob, and the hinges are on the other side. Everything in here is wooden, and I'm guessing that is very strong glass."

"You have a keen eye." He remarked.

"I was trained to." I monotoned. His face fell when I said that.

"Erin, I know it's difficult to break from your training, but you're much happier when you do."

"I am unable to feel." I replied truthfully. He looked down at the floor, and we sat in silence for a few moments.

"Erin?" He said after a while.

"Mr. Barnes."

"You can talk to me, you know." He looked up at me.

"Weakness is not to be shown." I rambled, remembering my youth. He gave me a sad smile, then slowly crossed the floor to where I was sitting on my bed. He crouched down in front of me so our eyes met.

"Erin. You are more than what they trained you to be. You have your whole life ahead of you. You can still let me help you. Please." His eyes didn't leave mine for a while. 

"I may be the age of a child, but do not mistake me for one." I replied.

With a small smile he said, "It doesn't mean you can never be one. You're safe here. I'm not going to let anyone hurt you." Slowly he stood up, and went back to the door. It opened, but he hesitated for a moment. "Good night Erin."

"Good night Mr. Barnes." He turned and let the door close behind him.

'Poor girl. She's been through so much,' I heard him think before the door sealed closed behind him.

I laid back down and closed my eyes. 'I almost feel sorry for him. Almost.'

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