Aim: Avenger | Y/N Story

16 - "Like Morning Follows Night"

"Hey, Y/N, want to take a walk around?" Barnes offered.

"Yeah, sure." I put the book I had in my hands back on the shelf, next to the copy of it I had summoned so many weeks ago. Before my world crashed around me. I turned and smiled at him, and we wandered around a bit until I asked, "Can we go to the main control room? I've never been."

"I don't know. I don't think Tony-"

"Please?" I asked gently. That was Barnes' weakness; when someone else shows weakness, he feels obliged to make them feel better. Always the fixer.

"Fine. But only for a few minutes." He led the way, walking past the kitchen, past the bedrooms, and finally we were there. All the walls were crystal-clear glass, revealing a beautiful New York scene. How boring. What interested me was the mammoth electronic table in front of me. This was the true marvel, and it no doubt held highly classified and key information on what they knew.

"Wow." I slowly walked over to the far window, pretending to be interested in the view. On my walk over, I summoned and placed the device. I looked out the window, at all the tiny people below me, and wore a mask of wonder. But inside I felt a different kind of glee. I was going to succeed. I was going to beat the Avengers.

"Y/N." Barnes said solemnly.

I turned, a smile plastered on my face. "Yeah?"

"Drop the act." He said, his words laced with ice. "I know this is all a mission. And when you placed this," he held up my device, "you proved me right. Damn it, Y/N. I was hoping you could change."

I dropped the smile. No use in it now. "You know what, Barnes? It had started as a mission. And I was determined. But then you showed me something different. You showed me what I thought was family."

"Y/N-"

"No! You will let me finish. I thought I had maybe, just maybe, found a place where I was safe. Where I could maybe have a family. But that was wiped away when I found recordings on Stark's computer, planning to make a device to take away the thing I thought you all supported me for. That was all wiped away when you betrayed me!" Tears were forming in my eyes, and I angrily tried to blink them away, but it didn't work; I couldn't stop the tears anymore. They streaked down my face in unrelenting rivulets. "You knew. I opened my heart for the first time in years, and still, it didn't matter." I sounded so defeated. I was so tired. I slid down to the floor, my head in my hands.

"Y/N." I felt his hands gently grab mine, and let him pull them away from my puffy face. "Y/N. I do know how it felt, to be unraveled and made into a person you don't want to be. To not remember the before."

"That's just it. I don't have a 'before'. I was just made into this." I waved my hands over my body. "I was made into a killing machine, and I wanted to be. I loved it. I relished in spilling the blood of others. I chose to be a monster."

"You aren't a monster." He spoke with pain in his voice.

"Then what am I? I don't know what I would be without Hydra. I am nothing without them."

"Stop it, Y/N. Believe me, you're better off without them." He replied firmly.

"Maybe so! But I don't know that! All I know is Hydra. I don't know how normal people act, or what normal even is. You say I was brainwashed, but I don't know. This is what is normal for me, and-"

"Y/N, just breathe." He interupted.

"You're not getting it! When you went on a rampage, you had Rogers to pull you out of it. When I went on a rampage, I got a gold star." I took my hands back and pulled up my knees, burying my head.

"Then I'll pull you out. I'll be your Rogers."

I scoffed. "How am I supposed to believe that? I did just try to sell your secrets, and your safety."

"Like this." He placed the hacking device on the ground and smashed it to dust in front of me. "No one has to know."

I couldn't help but be shocked. "Y-you're not going to tell anyone?"

"No. Your trust is more important, Y/N. If that's what it takes, then I'll-"

I didn't let him finish as I threw my arms around him, hugging him tight. He was frozen for a second, then relaxed and placed his arms around me. "I swear to god if you're lying to me, Bucky, I'll make your life hell. And you know I can." I said, my voice muffled by his shoulder. I could still feel the hot tears pouring from my eyes.

"I know." He said.

I pulled away, wiping the tears from my face. Then I looked at him seriously. "This doesn't change a lot. Only that I trust you."

"I know. Everyone else will come slower." He responded.

"God, what the hell am I doing?" I rested my head against the glass wall, looking up at the ceiling. "Did you almost betray your friends?"

"Are you kidding me? I almost killed them. And then I ran."

"Running sounds like a good idea." I said, only half joking.

"And when I did I was framed for terrorism and was almost killed by a man with claws. And Steve and Tony almost killed each other." He added.

"I read about that. A Hydra favorite." It was true. That was the story we used to describe why you should always cover your tracks when on a mission, so evidence can't rise up later. I relayed that to Bucky, who laughed. "They love to use any story they can to make you look bad. They really hate you." I was smiling.

"Yeah, I bet. I've blown up a lot of their toys." He laughed, and I surprised myself when I joined in.

"What's so funny?" Steve asked, walking into the room.

"Oh nothing. Just that Hydra hates me." Bucky explained.

"Get in line, Buck. They've hated me since the beginning." Steve joked.

"That's also true. One time an agent asked if he could have a shield like yours, and he was killed." I began to laugh, until I realized they did not find that funny. Hydra humor, I guess.

"Anyway, dinner time. Natasha made her famous pelmeni." Steve said as he helped me and Bucky up from where we were still sitting on the floor.

"No clue what that is, but I've had a wild day." I really had, hadn't I?

"Oh, Y/N. I found this. Thought you'd like it." Bucky fished something out of his pocket, and handed it to me. It was a small chunk of metal. Half of it was melted, but on the other half I could make out F-A-M-I-L-Y, with the 'F' mostly gone.

"How did you-" I was amazed. "Never let it be said that Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes is not a magician."

He burst out laughing again as the three of us walked to the dining room, with Steve looking at us like we were crazy. And maybe we were. 

But I liked it that way.

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