MATE AND HIS LOVER 5

7. Keeps me awake

I wasn't prepared for that. Cole keeps surprising me. I thought he'd forgotten about me. But if he hasn't, where does that leave me now?

I direct the power wash to the moldy wooden fences when I see Perry coming.

"Hey," she says. I wave at her. "Need any help?" she asks.

"Don't ask me that question or you'll regret," I warn her. She just laughs and says, "If even you can manage the renovation, so can I."

That's her way of saying if a human can do this, she'll breeze through it.

She's right. Not long after her employment as my helper she had loaded up all the old furnitures that I wasn't even able to move into the trash truck.

When the sun is high we decide to take a lunch break and order pizza. We eat the slices sitting on the ground in the middle of the living room.

"Thanks for the help," I tell her.

"I did it for a selfish reason. I didn't want you to use the renovation as an excuse and miss my birthday party."

"You are selfish. But I don't mind. Can you come tomorrow, too? The roof on the West side needs fixing."

"Tomorrow I can't. Your brother is taking me out on a date. I can come day after tomorrow," she cheerily says.

"Where are you going?"

"We're going to the beach. Been asking him to take me there for a while now. He had finally agreed."

Her excitement is palpable.

"Can I ask you something?" she says. I nod.

"Don't you feel lonely being away from home, away from our packland?"

I shake my head. "I missed mom and dad sometimes, but that's about it."

"You missed your brother?"

I shake my head. I can be candid with Perry. She knows I'm not a fan of my brother and this pack.

"You still think everyone here doesn't accept you as part of our pack?" she asks.

I don't think that. I know that.

When I was nine, a group of older girls tied my eyes and took me to the forest and left me there.

Luckily I knew the trail I was in, since my dad took me there a week ago on trekking, so I knew the way home.

I cried all the way. I was scared. I never told anyone what happened. I was ashamed. I didn't want anyone to think I was any lesser fit to be a part of this pack than what they were already thinking of me.

I never forgot that incident. Everyone only pretends they don't mind me being here because I'm the Beta's daughter. But if I wasn't, they wouldn't hesitate a second to mistreat me.

This is why I was terrified when I found out Cole was my mate. I can't imagine the attention and hate I would attract if they knew I was their future Alpha's mate.

Today's last item to strike off on the renovation to-do list is sweep the backyard. With Perry's help that's done in no time.

Back home I eat an early dinner and go to bed feeling exhausted. My mind and body is desperate to fall asleep but Cole keeps me awake.

When we found out we're mates Cole took an instant liking to me. His feelings were intimidating. I couldn't reject him. But I asked him to keep our relationship a secret saying I'll feel anxious if everyone found out.

I thought he would eventually get bored with me and ask we break up. That didn't happen. His attachment to me only intensified with time.

One day he asked me for a pen at the school hallway. Everyone was watching us. They were probably thinking why he was asking me. When I nervously gave him the pen he took it and let his finger slide across mine.

I quickly retrieved my hand, afraid someone might've noticed it.

His behavior was telling. He couldn't control himself. And I was worried people would find out.

The last string was when he asked me to move in with him once we start college.

I told him my real intentions then. My intention to leave this packland once and for all. My intention to leave him once and for all.

At first, the break up didn't affect me. But eventually I started to realize how much of an influence Cole had on me.

I lied when I told Perry I didn't feel lonely in college. I did feel lonely. Everyone had a girlfriend or boyfriend. I wanted to date, too. So I tried.

But no guy came even close to make me feel the way Cole did. The way Cole looked at me when we were together, it felt like I was the only one he could see in the world.

That was a long time ago. Now he has someone else.