Please, Use Me (Kou x Oc)

Chapter 6

((**A/N** Guyyyyssss.... I'm sorry I've been so slow with updates. >.< I'm planning some new stories, though, so please check out my profile and give me some opinions on what I should do! If anyone wants yandere content, tell me~))

The shopping trip felt like it went on forever. Kou gave me outfit after outfit; all of them downright awful. 

Well, they were plenty cute... It's just that the styles weren't meant for me at all. 

But Kou insisted. I tried on probably ten different things, posed in all of them, and let Kou take pictures before he was satisfied. We were there for probably two hours between my slowness with working up the nerve to try on the clothes, Kou's fussing, and his time spent picking out things for me to wear. 

By the end of it, I thought that I was close to having an anxiety attack or something. It was kind of nice to be able to wear the sort of clothes I'd only ever seen on TV, but being seen in them was just plain embarrassing. I was beyond relieved when Kou let me go home. 

I guess that this kind of thing is just what I should expect from wanting to be an idol. 

As we left, Kou said that as much as he'd love to walk me home, he couldn't risk being seen by any fans. With a wink and a promise to text me, he shooed me out of the mall. 

So I walked home alone, face still burning. 

And that's how I find myself laying on my bed, browsing all of my idol forums and news sites on my laptop while I slowly nibble my way through a box of strawberry pocky. I shouldn't be snacking like this— it'll just put weight on me—, but I'm so nervous I can't help it. Stress-eating has always been a bad habit of mine. 

I want Kou to text me at the same time that I don't. I'm way too embarrassed to reach out to him first, but waiting around is making me sick with nerves. I keep glancing at my phone and checking my messages— to no avail. 

I'm also terrified of facing him. Even if it's just over text, thinking about how much of my body he's seen is making me so panicky it almost hurts. I don't like the idea at all, but Kou is someone that I want to impress more than anything. And he's in charge of making me into an idol. If he says that I need to do something, I'd be best to listen. 

Even so, I find myself spacing out a lot more than I'd like. 

My phone buzzes eventually. I grab it way too quickly and fumble so badly that I almost drop the thing onto the floor. 

Hi hi, kitten! (●>ω<)ﾉﾞHow are you doing? Did you have fun earlier? 

It's late at night; later than I'd expect a busy idol to be up. Kou probably has a lot to do... which makes me wonder even more why he's texting me. 

I'm doing okay. Just kind of tired... today really wore me out. 

Is that message too boring? Too ungrateful? As soon as I hit send, I'm left worrying. I don't want to seem too pathetic to someone that I look up to so much, but at this rate, I'm just bound to make a fool out of myself at every turn. 

Oh? It did? But I had so much fun~ ♡ You did too, right? I mean, we got to spend so much time together, and I got to see you in wayyyy cuter stuff than you usually wear.

At the sight of the message, I flush miserably and bite my lip. 

I really am a boring person. Kou is right. I don't know how I've kept his interest for even this long, but if wearing some embarrassing outfits is what'll make him stick around, is that really so bad? I can live with trying on clothes. I mean, real idols do that all the time. Even if it makes me uncomfortable, I should bear with it. Kou is going out of his way to be nice to me. What business do I have throwing that back in his face?

Yeah, I did. ^~^ It was nice. I'm very grateful that you took the time to help me.

There. That's better. What happened earlier wasn't that bad. I'm just being a baby for complaining so much.

Yay!!! o(*>ω<*)o That makes me really happy to hear, kitten! I'm proud of you for trying your best today, y'know? We'll have to do it again soon! 

I look at that message and can't help but smile widely. Hearing something like that from a person that I look up to as much as Kou has my heart thudding in my chest. He's proud of me. That's something I never would have believed could happen. 

But then, another message from him comes through. 

Here, look at how cute you were!

The message is followed by a series of images... 

...all of me in the outfits from earlier. 

Seeing it from a camera's point of view is somehow worse than I ever could have imagined. My pudgy, plain body squeezed and squished into outfits small and skimpy enough to hug every curve and show off way too much skin is too much to look at. On top of that, in all of them, it's painfully obvious that I'm not wearing a bra. 

But the images just keep coming. Kou sends me probably twenty of them in quick succession, not giving me any chance to respond. I'm forced to see picture after picture of myself dressed up in all kinds of things I'd never have worn willingly on my own. 

Finally, the images come to an end. And then, one more message comes through. 

See? You're just adorable! I'm holding onto these for sure. ❤ But for now, I've gotta get going. I'll message you again later, okay? 

I sit there for a long few minutes with no idea how to react. I can't stop staring at the pictures, no matter how badly I want to look away. Kou has all of those on his phone, and he's keeping them. Who knows who could wind up seeing?

I want to beg him to delete them, but I know that's out of line. Kou wouldn't have saved them if there wasn't a reason. He's using them as reference, surely. 

After turning my phone off to spare my sanity, I wind up putting my laptop away as well. My idol newsfeeds don't seem so interesting anymore. I just want to go to bed and try to forget what I just saw. I know that I need to trust Kou and, as he said in his conditions, do everything he says, but... this is too embarrassing to handle. 

Hopefully, some sleep will make me feel a little more okay.