Foreverland

Chapter 30

•Ara•

I thought being queen would bring one joy. If anything, it made me even more paranoid. Each time a boy whispered in another's ear, I wanted to rip them apart. Afraid they were plotting my demise. Every night I would sleep in Peter Pan's old hole in the tree, my thoughts weighing heavily on my chest. Then, every morning I would wake ready to fight another day. I was ready for war. Waiting for it. Welcoming it. Yet, war seemed content to sit on the horizon. No one came to kick me off my throne of bones. Peter Pan's name was mentioned less and less as the boys learned it was easier to forget the past rather than try to unravel the memories that were returning to them.

Still. A fight would come. I felt it on the wind. Weather it came from the pirates, the lost boys, or Peter Pan himself somehow back from the dead- I would not allow myself to be unprepared. I didn't allow myself to trust anyone. Anyone could stab me in the back. Just like I'd done to Peter Pan. Just as he would've done the same to me. 

An argument was starting to break out around the fire. Damon was insisting that we went out hunting again, Alex was initiating his place as eldest boy and saying no. His argument- there wasn't an endless supply of food, we couldn't hunt whenever we wanted. Even Peter Pan knew that. The sound of his name sent a ripple of murmurs across the group and a few of the boys glanced warily up at me. I picked at my nails pretending I didn't care.

"We are not hunting again today. We have enough food." Alex crossed his arms and a shiver ran up my spine. For days it had been a silent battle between the two of us. Who would the boys listen to? When it came down to it, who would they side with? 

"You're being dramatic." Damon sighed, "And boring."

"You're being dumb." 

"No! You're dumb!"

I rolled my eyes at their immaturity, but what did I expect from children. Although I liked being queen, I wished I ruled over more than just a group of boys. Lost boys. Dumb boys.

"Ara, can we please go hunting?" Emris- one of the youngest, yet smartest of the bunch- looked up at me. His glass-like eyes practically staring into my soul.

"Of course you can." A smile crept onto my lips and I jumped down from my chair. "Alex can stay back with Toby and Spencer." Emris looked overjoyed at my words- Alex however, did not.

"No." I was surprised by the authority in Alex's tone, it even made me pause for a second.

"No? Well, if you wanted to come along, you shouldn't have been so disagreeable."

"I'm not going hunting and neither are the rest of the boys." He stomped up to me, chest puffed put. He leaned in, whispering in my ear so the rest of the boys couldn't hear what he had to say. "I know things the others do not, things that happened before you came here. I don't know what you did with Peter Pan but he'll be back. You're not the first girl that's tried to take him down. You think you've won but you have not."

"How misguided you are." I patted his cheek, hiding my discomfort in his words. "You will stay back with Toby and Spencer while the rest of us have fun." With a noise of discomfort Alex took Spencer from Emris's arms and plopped down on a log. 

The remaining boys cheered and ran to retrieve their weapons, only Jack lingered behind. I headed towards the tree, staying out of sight, yet just within earshot of the two. 

"Isn't it better? That he's gone?" I heard Jack say, leaning in close to Alex, "Don't you remember what he caused? Maybe our situation here isn't ideal, but maybe we're better off without him."

"You're wrong." Alex cradled Spencer to his chest, "You were too young to recognise it at the time, but there was a period when he was good. When he was happy. Things were almost perfect."

"You think I don't know how Rose almost changed him? All those years ago?" The girls name, Rose, shocked me. It wasn't spoken much, but it was a reminder. There were still secrets I didn't know, buried under blood and bones. "The thing is... All I remember is that she was unsuccessful, and she died trying to do exactly what Ara finished. We should be more grateful."

Died? That wasn't right. It couldn't be right. The girl, I'd seen her before, and she was very much alive.

"Ara's no better than Peter Pan." Alex growled when Jack started to walk away, "What exactly do you think happened to Winston?" Jack didn't look back, and neither did I. 

↢ ↢ ↢

Alex was gone when we returned home from our successful hunt. His hut was empty and all traces of him were gone. All but a single note, clutched in Toby's tiny hand where we found him and Spencer left alone on my bed. Peter Pan's old bed. Two words were messily scrawled across the yellow parchment;

i'm sory. 

Rage gripped my body and nearly consumed every inch of my being. Five boys. I was down to five boys and I hadn't even been given the chance to gain power from Alex's departure from the group. I needed more. I needed power and I- I couldn't think with Spencer's screaming.

"Emris." I snapped, letting the small piece of parchment fall to the ground, "Make it stop."

"It has a name." Emris grumbled but did as I asked and took Spencer out of the hollow of the tree. Jack- skinny as he was- lifted Toby onto his hip and brushed the long hair out of his eyes.

"Toby, where did Alex go?" Jack asked as the child squirmed in his arms, clearly not in the mood to be helpful. 

"He abandoned us." I took in a deep breath, keeping a clam and steady voice. I could turn this around; it would be alright. Alex was my weak link- it was good that he was gone. "He's a traitor to us all." I turned to face the boys crowded at the doorway. I expected to see weariness in their eyes, instead, I saw the lack of it. I saw anger. I saw rage. Alex was their oldest brother, and he left them. He left a baby and a toddler by themselves in a hollowed-out tree. They looked like they wanted revenge. 

I forced back a smile.

"What do you guys want to do about this?" I knew what I wanted to do. I wanted to hunt Alex down before he caused anymore trouble. However, this time, I had a feeling I should let the boys decide what to do. Their trust in me was growing. I didn't want to break it by ordering them to hunt down their brother- traitor or not. They were family.

"I think we would like to eat something." Jack said, finally putting Toby down, "And then I would like to sleep."

I nodded. It wasn't the answer I wanted, yet it was what the boys needed. Their shoulders slumped slightly with relief as I agreed to let them rest. Let them ponder over their missing brother. In the morning we'd look for him. Unfortunately, I had a feeling we wouldn't find a trace. These boys knew Neverland well. They'd learned how to disappear long ago.