Foreverland

Chapter 32

•Peter•

At first I was certain I was dead. It was too peaceful for me to be alive. It was dark yes, but it was a beautiful kind of darkness. The kind that came with stars and fireflies. There was something about darkness that I enjoyed. Not the cruelty that others often associated with it, associated me with, but there's something about the unknown. The quiet and the cold. There's an unspoken tranquility about the dark. Something that is impossible to put words to. It was something terrifying, and yet, it was beautiful.

I felt as though a calm breeze brushed the hair away from my face. Or maybe a soft hand. The utter silence that had once engulfed me, faded into the calming sound of lapping water.

"I can do it. I can heal him." Came a far away voice. It was distorted, like my head was being held under the calm water and I was only catching glimpses of the conversation. The words didn't make any sense to me. My brain was fuzzy, as if the same water that my head was under had rushed through my ears and drowned my brain.

"You can't, we all know it. You've healed us too many times, you're too weak and he's too injured." Someone else spoke softly. There was pain in their voice. I didn't know why.

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The pain came back all at once. One moment I was floating in an empty sea of nothing and the next- I was dying. My vision turned red and my throat was too raw to scream. I couldn't breathe. I was gasping for breath but I still couldn't breathe.

"Peter? Peter you have to hold on, alright? Its going to be okay." It wasn't alright, but that voice, it calmed me somehow. It was the most beautiful thing I'd ever heard. My rapid breaths turned shallow and my vision cleared enough to see a cloudy picture of my surroundings. Rose cradled my head in her arms, there were tears in her beautiful eyes. I'd made Rose cry before, but this, this hurt more than ever.

"Stop that." I managed to speak and her spine straightened, eyes brightening. I felt bad, giving her hope. "No one is worth your tears... especially not me."

"I- We. We need you Peter. The Lost Boys need you, please. We're not finished yet." She shook her head, brushing her fingers across my forehead.

"T-There's something I- I've realized. People... People are not like rain, or snow, or even golden Autumn leaves." I coughed feeling darkness creeping back into the edges of my vision. "There is no beauty when we fall."

For once I had seen beauty in such things. Now, the most beautiful thing in the world was smiling sadly down at me.

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Although I did not deserve a second chance, it seemed like I kept getting them. I was determined to not let this go to waste, just like Wendy had told me not to. Apparently, Flynn had been able to gather up enough strength to stop my bleeding and restart my heart, just keeping me alive. He was now passed out at Twila's side, curled up close to the small fire they'd made. I didn't remember much from my fight with the beast. Twila guessed that was most likely due to the egg sized bump on my head.

"How are you feeling?" Rose settled down beside me and handed me some strips of whatever meat she'd cooked up.

"like I want to die." I chuckled and she smacked me upside the head.

"Ouch."

"Sorry!" She exclaimed quickly, "Sorry... I just... I thought we'd lost you." She tucked her legs to her chest and turned away from me. I didn't know what to say. I didn't know what he wanted from me. I thought she'd wanted me dead. "They're beautiful, aren't they?" after awhile she spoke again, pointing to where fireflies danced in the branches of the trees.

"They've got nothing on you." I whispered, not even looking towards where she had pointed.

"Peter... A lot happened, but I need you to know things haven't changed. I'm sorry but, my feelings haven't changed." My heart dropped, hurting almost as bad as the wounds littering my body. "You can't tell me you didn't see how toxic this was? Our relationship- or whatever it was. I'll admit it, at a time, we loved each other, much to my denial. But it was always hot and cold, from bliss to pain and pain to bliss. I'm not the person I want to be when I'm with you. Our hands are bound too tightly this way. I was suffocating. Maybe the love was real, but it wasn't right. I used to think we'd fix each other... But Peter... I don't think I need to be fixed anymore. I think I like the way I am. Just me."

"I know." Was all I managed to say.

"When this is all over, we need to go our separate ways. You'll have your boys and I-" She looked over to Twila and Flynn, "I think I've found my people."

"I am sorry."

"So am I."

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Much to my discontent and rejections, the others decided it would be best to travel across the island, back to their home to rest and heal before facing Ara. I didn't want to wait. We couldn't wait, we didn't have enough time to wait. I tried to explain to them that Ara was nothing. With the dagger in our possession, she would be an easy defeat. Only Rose threatening to stab me with the dagger shut me up long enough to allow them to pack up in silence.

Inside I knew they were right, even if I dreaded to admit it. Flynn was looking worse by the second and he hadn't even been able to fully heal me. I had been at deaths door only hours ago, I was still weak. I had been stronger when Ara had first bested me- and Ara, her own strength had only grown. Still, it didn't seem right to travel all the way across Neverland again. It would be slow going and a waste of time.

"I have a plan."

"We're going home Peter, we will not win in the state we're in." Home. I remember when she called the hanging tree home.

"There's somewhere else we can go." I said wearily, it was necessarily my the first place I would choose to go. But we didn't have many options."

"No." Rose shook her head, pointing an accusing finger at me, "No, I know what you're thinking and its not happening."

"Why not!?" I threw my hands up in the air.

"Does anyone care to fill us in?" Twila looked between Rose and I, her eyebrows raised.

"They will throw you off the plank and me right after just for bringing you." Rose snapped, ignoring Twila.

"You know that's not true." My voice softened. I had no doubt the pirates wanted me to walk their stupid plank, but they wouldn't if Rose asked them not to. They would do anything Rose asked, especially their new captain, Chay. Captain Scar. I knew that boy and I knew his heart, he would help us if she asked him to. "He's not going to make it all the way back across the island." I nodded at Flynn and was surprised when he didn't object, "You know it's the best option."

"I don't want to bring them into this." Rose's voice dropped as well, almost to a whisper.

"Its our only choice." I urged and watch the war that flashed across her face.

"Hellooo!" I'm sure Twila would've walked over and shoved one of us if she hadn't been supporting Flynn, "What are you talking about?"

"The pirates." Rose tilted her chin up to the sky and I saw tears glinting in her eyes. She had just wanted to keep them safe. "They can help, and they're not very far." She turned around and through the trees we could see the ocean. Far to the left, sitting peacefully on the waves the pirate ship. We already had a boat, it wouldn't be a difficult row over.

Rose begrudgingly nodded her head and we made our way down to the rowboat. Twila looked nervous and Flynn... Flynn looked like he just wanted to sleep. I didn't blame him. He'd be able to soon.