In The Clear | ✓

27 | rumour has it

Having a film schedule that occurred at the same time Miles had work was a tall task for Jensen. Since Walker Studios was attempting to plan their next few years, Miles had to be hands-on at work. Usually when Jensen had to film, he would stay at home and work and take care of Rocky. But with two kids and no free time, they had to come to set with Jensen instead of staying home with Miles.

            What did that really boil down to? Jensen had to bring a sick Rocky to set and hope she could sleep long enough that Jensen could get her scenes filmed for the day without interruption.

            "It's no bother," Keira had said. Before Rocky sneezed into her own hand and offered it to shake Keira's. Jensen couldn't argue with the wrinkled nose Keira shot Rocky. That was probably the most polite thing she could muster.

            Jensen had twisted the hoop in her nose. "It can be."

            Jensen had brought Beckett with her, too. Which meant that she had to take breaks to burp, breastfeed, and bounce between shots. Between everything Jensen had her mind on, she could barely focus on the fact that her post-partum was in full swing and she could've burst into tears at any moment.

            She could've kissed Grace for taking Rocky to her trailer for a nap when Jensen had to film a scene where she drank in her office and swore at Holly's character for, quote, "acting like an ungrateful bitch." Jensen didn't know how she'd switched from doting mom to drunk counsellor, but Keira seemed pleased with her after a couple of takes and she was okay with that. Maybe Jensen's ill-timed crying that she couldn't control at the best of times and especially not on camera had been worth it after all.

            That being said, Jensen had never been more thankful to leave the set for the day. After getting Rocky and Beckett into their car seats, she took a deep breath before she got back in the car. Sitting down, she pulled her phone out. A single text from Miles.

            did you see real hollywood? holy shit.

            Jensen's mind raced. "Rock?"

            "Yeah, mama?"

            "Did..." Jensen already knew the answer but didn't want it to be true. "Did you wear a mask to the hospital?"

            "No, mama."

            "Okay, baby."

            Jensen swallowed hard. She hadn't seen any camera flashes... Cue another deep breath. Getting the kids home first was the main priority. As was ignoring the pounding against her rib cage that grew increasingly heavier as she drove. Miles should've known better. All he had to do was type out a couple words to tell her what was on the gossip websites. (It had to have been bad for him to check it and text her about it, right?) (Shit.)

            Maybe since it was February, it was too late for Jensen to make a new year's resolution. But if she was going to make some kind of significant change to the rest of her year, it was going to be that she was going to drive home for the rest of the year—starting the next day—without having a panic attack. Because she was getting tired of the shaking breaths and the blurred vision and it felt like it had been happening far too often.

            Having the kids in the back got them home safely. Jensen drove slower, made sure every lane change was safe. Assured that her kids were going to get home and be put down for naps.

            Jensen had barely changed into her—fine, Miles'—NYU hoodie before she heard him come in the door. Changing into comfortable clothes to read whatever Real Hollywood had written was what Jensen defined as self care. Miles' hoodies were perfect if she needed to wrap herself up and cry.