"Is he always like this?" I ask Cathrynn as I attempt to wrangle her five-year-old brother, Bruno, who is currently running around in a tophat and underwear.
That's it.
He squeals and ducks, successfully evading capture for the thirtieth time in as many minutes.
"Little monster!" Cathrynn makes a grab for him, but he ducks his head and runs into her stomach as hard as he can. She grunts and stumbles backwards. Bruno turns towards me and grins maliciously. The child is really starting to scare me.
I brace myself for the impact, but instead of ramming into me, the little leech chomps down on my arm!
"Ow!" I shout as I pull my arm away to examine it. There are teeth marks, but the demon's fangs didn't pierce my skin, thank goodness.
I look at Cathrynn for help, but she's too busy laughing to offer any assistance.
"What was that for?" I demand, turning to Bruno, who has finally sat on the couch.
"I'm trying to find new flavors." He smiles innocently, like the little angel we all know he is.
Not.
"Flavors?"
"For my chocolate." He points at his tophat and states solemnly, "I'm Willy Wonka and nobody is buying my chocolate so I gotta find new flavors."
I pause, trying to comprehend the insanity that just came out of the child's mouth. "And so you decided that I would be a good flavor for chocolate?"
Bruno shakes his head. "Nuh uh. You're yucky."
"Of course I am," I sigh.
"And so I gotta find new flavors."
"Uh huh."
"So I can stay number one."
I look at Cathrynn, who has calmed down enough to watch the exchange. "Your brother knows more about business than I do."
This cues another bout of laughter, and I can't help but let out a snort.
Then I glance at the couch, which has a suspicious lack of underwear- and tophat-clad five-year-olds.
"Bruno?" I call out, then I hear a thud resonating from the kitchen, followed by an "oopsies."
Cathrynn and I rush to the kitchen and are met with the image of Bruno sitting on the floor, a container of strawberries in his lap and a pool of ketchup gathering next to him. He squeezes the ketchup bottle and holds a strawberry in the flow, then chomps down on it.
"I decided," he declared, "that this is gonna be my new chocolate flavor."
Cathrynn, who has made her way across the kitchen, grabs Bruno and clutches the squirming boy to her chest.
"I'll bathe him, you clean up."
I agree and set to work scrubbing the red off of the floor.
About thirty minutes later, Bruno is in bed and Cathrynn and I are sprawled out on her couch.
"Welcome to the Museum of Siblings," she mutters, "exhibit one: Bruno, the world's favorite cannibalistic Willy Wonka."
A/N
Am I basing this off of my own brother?
Nooooo
Ok maybe😂
Vote and comment, lovelies!! Love ya!!
Merry Christmas or whatever you celebrate!! 💝
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