Losing game (Levi x reader)

Confessions

LEVI POV:

I walked down the long hallway that led to Erwins office. We have a meeting to discuss the mission coming up. We're trying to reclaim wall Maria. I think it's a shit plan to be honest. We don't have the resources or skill to complete it safely. Although my entire squad is going to be there, I can't help but feel uneasy about it. I don't want any lives to be lost especially with such an unobtainable goal. Erwin and Petra insist we go through with it. I still think they're full of shit.

I opened the door and my instantly my eyes locked with Petras. She knew that I didn't want this mission to happen. I don't know why, but she's hell bent on going. Petra gave me a soft smile, but I ignored it and liked away. I pulled my chair away from the table and sat down next to Petra.

"Tch, Okay let's get on with it then brats."

"Okay so as of currently, we're going to use the formation to avoid titans, our goal here is not to fight, but to seal the wall. Any questions?" Erwin says.

"Yeah I have one, how the fuck are you going to justify the amount of scouts we're going to lose on the battlefield tomorrow. We're leading them straight to their deaths without giving it a second thought" I snapped. I was clearly still not happy with the mission.

"Levi, this is for the best of humanity, you know that. Food is growing scarcer and scarcer. We have to do something." Petra chimes.

She looks at me and sees the worry on my face. My brows are furrowed and I have a frown set in. As if to sooth me, she intertwined our hands under the table. Her thumb rubbing circles on the back of my hand. I relax a little, but there's only so much she can do.

"We have to keep fighting, even if that means some casualties along the way, because if we stop fighting, we admit defeat. If we wait any longer, winter will set in and we'll lose all opportunity to reclaim wall Maria until spring. The famine will only continue to get worse, claiming more lives than the ones we will lose tomorrow."

"Okay fine. I'll agree to it. But whatever you do, at least try to keep people alive. I don't want all my scouts dead."

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Sleep tonight was difficult. Even with Petra here I couldn't seem to stop worrying about the mission tomorrow. I'm not worried about myself. I know I'm strong enough to take down any titan. I'm more worried about my squad. I don't want anyone getting hurt. After losing my friends to battle so many years ago, I don't want my squad to suffer the same fate..

I know that with Petra going, there's a chance she won't return. This could be my last chance to tell her how I feel. My heart clenches as I work up the nerve to speak. This would change everything for us. Admitting my feelings to her was the easy part. Living with it is the hard part. If I tell her that means we would get closer than we already are. If we shared a romantic relationship then we stand the chance of hurting ourselves beyond repair. I would never be able to live with myself if I didn't tell her and she... oh god just thinking about it brings an ache to my heart. I need to tell her. Tonight.

I gently shake her awake.

"Hey Petra..." I half whisper as I shake her.

She takes a big breath of air and yawns.

"What's up?" She questions as she rolls over to face me.

"I need to tell you something really important. It can't wait any longer"

"Mhmm" she mumbles. I think she knows where I'm going. She looks at my eyes.

"We're going on that mission tomorrow, so I have to get something off my chest just in case...tch, you know something happens."

She rests her palm on my cheek and stares at me. "I know Levi" she whispers

Here goes nothing

"Petra... I... I have feelings for you. And not just the friend kind. I want to love you, and marry you and have a bunch of kids. Hell I want to grow old together. I know that because of our line of work this could be a dangerous relationship, and I know that you feel the same way, I just need to make sure you know. This has gone on for so long"

She doesn't respond at first. She takes a moment to stare into my eyes. Then she does the unexpected. She brings her face to mine. She hovers over it and then lightly pressed her lips to mine. I feel her hair brush against my forehead and my eyes are wide open with shock. She pulls away and just as I'm about to speak she stops me.

"You can kiss me back after the mission, then it will be official."

AN: okay okay I promise this is soooo important to Levi x y/n just wait