𝐓𝐖𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐃

𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐲-𝐬𝐢𝐱

Adeline

My heart thrashed vigorously against my lungs, the tranquility that was plastered among my expression was exceedingly contrasting to what the interior of myself was feeling.

My skin was pale, it felt numb and bitterly cold. Yet my palms felt as if they could throw a roaring flame any second. I sucked in a sharp breath as I noticed my breathing began to shallow.

The consistent drumming of my foot on the floor seemed to draw the tables attention as I tugged at the skin around my nails in a consumed state of anxiety.

A thousand thoughts sped throughout the walls in my intellect as my temples began to throb excessively.

I began reflect on my whole childhood, the lie it was. The heavy falsity that my mother had to weigh on her shoulders to retain our so-called family. The guilt began to crush at my sternum as I examined all the false smiles that she had to plaster on her face throughout the years.

And now I couldn't apologise for it, I couldn't comfort her and tell her it'll be okay, because it wouldn't. Because she won't be. She'll never be. All because of that pathetic excuse of a wizard.

I now began to register as to why I'd hear strangled sobs escape her room at early hours in the morning when Lumin was on so-called 'business trips'. As to why when I'd come home for Christmas breaks the appearance of a broken woman would stand weakly before me. Sunken red under eyes with her cheekbones visually about to break through her pale complexion.

Maybe I was naive to trust so easily, but shouldn't it be humane understanding to trust blood. To trust those whom raised you, you don't begin to construct a tower of trust for your family as you grow older. It's already inevitably mechanised to be perceived that way, there is no building of faith and devotion, because it's already born with you. Of course it's deemed definite to be that way, because we know no better than that at such a vulnerable age. And is it for that reason that i feel so utterly dejected and perturbed to know that, that birth of bond and trust was a lie, that it was artificial and simulated. I don't think I'd ever be able to psychologically reframe and kill this lingering resentment I feel towards him.

It feels as if the deadliest wound I could ever suffer from is his betrayal. It feels as if there's nothing more psychologically devastating than having someone I so deeply cared for, loved, trusted with my life, use that all in his favour to cold heartedly stab me in the back for his own gain.

I failed to notice the warm hand that concealed my own as I drifted back into materiality. I elevated my gaze from my ruined nails as Jayden offered me a feeble smile.

"Let's go, it's 5:44." Kol informed the table, the air was thick with tension and doubt. I inhaled another sharp breath before I began to hold it.

We headed for apparation point as we all held onto Draco's arms, with a crack we were standing before the manor. It seemed dingy and gloomier than last time I'd been here.

There was a chance that Lucius and Lumin weren't even present, but it wouldn't be worth the risk to determine wether they were or weren't.

Draco squeezed my hand tightly as we poured our souls into one another's eyes. A thousand whispers of love seeping into our skins. "it'll be okay," he mouthed down at me, barley a whisper as he held my cheek. Even on him there was a glimmer of uncertainty coursing throughout the blue speckles that now laid dimly in his eyes.

We all walked through the wards together, and it was as if a chill breeze seeped into the organ that drummed dramatically between my lungs. My pulse fluttered harshly against my neck as I gulped.