The Art of Being a F*ck Up

21. Why Are You So Mad(ison)?

The past couple of days have been a blur, between figuring out details and telling almost everybody we know about our engagement, I haven't really had a minute to process. I'm not exaggerating either, I thought maybe me and Jonah would go out to celebrate or something, and sure he did end up doing that thing for me when we got home, but after that he spent almost the whole night on the phone with Grace telling her every last detail about the proposal. Then, for good measure, he called Bram all the way in New York just to wake him up so he could tell him too. It's sweet though, I love to see Jonah so excited, but I'm glad we're finally getting our chance to make the most of our announcement.

"Congratulations, brother. I can't believe you're actually engaged, that's so fucking stupid." Devin brings me another round. We've been sitting here at our usual haunt, living up what little time I have left as a bachelor while Grace and Jonah play the world's worst game of pool. Devin watches her the way I'm watching Jonah, but suddenly his face goes white before he looks at me with horrifying realization. "Oh shit, I don't have to get you a stripper, do I? I'm not ready for that."

"No thanks." I roll my eyes, my sights still set on my fiancé. It's weird, like, yeah I thought dudes were kind of hot before Jonah, but no one had ever struck me anywhere near how he did the first time I'd seen him—all disheveled and care-free with a fuck you attitude he used to take the world by storm. I'd been surrounded for so long by people who said what they thought I wanted to hear, or dressed or acted the way everyone thought they should. But Jonah was real, the one thing that came crashing into my sorry life out of the blue one day that couldn't care less about all that. And he was cute too.

I'm embarrassed to admit out loud how fucking hard I fell for him, and obviously I never fully recovered, because while there've been guys I thought were attractive in passing or whatever since, nobody has ever been able to compare to Jonah. He's the only guy who still catches my eye.

"You're the best, seriously. You're a goddamn saint, man." Relieved, Devin takes another shot before watching Grace again. I wonder what he feels when he looks at her, does he feel all the same things I felt way back when with Jonah? It's a beautiful thing, I think. To be in love. No matter who you are, or who you love, it deserves to be celebrated, and I know my best friend believes that as whole heartedly as I do. He asks, "have you told your uncle yet?"

"I'm trying to find the right time." I'd like to think Bill would be happy for me too, regardless of whatever else. I'd like to think he'd be supportive and come to the wedding and everything, but how do I know anything I tell him won't get back to my dad? Every day he weasels himself in further, taking over, and my job's already complicated enough with him there now. I don't need to give him any more reason to come down on me harder. Besides, Bill's got enough to deal with, I can hear how exhausted he is every time I call him.

"Sounds like an excuse if you ask me, do you want me to tell him for you? I owe you one after the whole stripper deal." Devin teases. He's probably only kidding, seeing how he's laughing his ass off, but I'm actually tempted to take him up on it. That's how much I really dread having to deal with my dad. After another snort Devin stops laughing abruptly, and I almost ask why before he practically growls at Maddy coming in. "What the hell is she doing here?"

"Play nice, I invited her." After I issue him a warning I wave her over. I know she's still lonely with everyone gone for break, and I do kind of owe her for everything. These past few days have been more than a blur, they've also produced some awesome news. I don't know how I pulled it off, she must a goddamn miracle worker, but I heard back that I passed all my make-up exams. No more worries about being kicked out, and now with the whole dyslexia thing under control, no more worries about living dangerously on the edge of academic probation either. Hopefully. I'm riding pretty fucking high right now, so yeah, I can show a little empathy.