✓ PLEASURABLE MESS

seventeen

"I have to do something about this! The only man I want to marry is hyunjin! It's him and it HAS to be him!" Hana stomped back and forth in her office. Her hair was a mess, she was a mess

Your Pov
"You're back?" You asked as soon as you heard the front door opening and it was hyunjin

He didn't say anything but he stopped when he looked at you. You tilted your head at him

"Is there... something wrong? Did something happen?" You asked but he only slowly walked at you while you slowly took steps backward

"W-What are you-" you were cutted off by your sentence when he suddenly buried his face on your shoulder

"Hyunjin...?" You called

Should I pat him?

He wasn't hugging you or anything. He was just standing and burying his face on your shoulders

"Stay like this for a while" he said and you heaved a sigh then smiled

We stayed like that for a couple of minutes. It wasn't awkward but it was... comfortable

"Will you marry me?" You almost choked when you heard him say that

"P-Pardon?" He stood still and looked at you

"I said will you marry me" he said. His hands were both on your arms

"W-What's all about this all of a sudden?" You asked

"Well since you are the mother of my child it's obvious that I have to marry you. It's also for sam's sake" he explained

So he's only offering to marry me not because he wants to but he has to?

"Hyunjin... don't take marriage as a joke." He was puzzled by my remark

"What? I-Im not taking it as a joke what do you mean?"

"Marrying is about spending the rest of your lives with someone you love not because you have to marry that person or you're forced to marry that person, but because you love them that's why you want to spend the rest of your lives with them" You argued and sighed

"You don't love me and neither do I" You break away from his grip on your arms

He had his eyebrows furrowed while he looks at you

"Let's talk about this another time" you said and looked down "Sleep well" you added before walking away from him and went to your room

I know marrying hyunjin is also for the best for sam but I just can't bring myself to marry someone when I know that he doesn't feel anything for me

Tomorrow
You rub your eyes as you went down on the stairs. You woke up so late when you arrived downstairs sam was already going out to go to school

Sam saw you in the corner of his eyes and ran to you. He hugged you

"Goodmorning mommy! Im going to school now!" He said cheerfully which made you smile

"Okay sweetie, be careful okay?" You said

"Yes! Bye bye mommy" he said and ran to the door. Yanai smiled at me as he closed the entrance door

I went to the kitchen and saw hyunjin there still on his pajamas and eating

"You're not going to work?" You asked him and sat down across him

He only replied with a hum. You got a bowl and poured cereal in it then you poured the fresh milk

"Why aren't you going to work?" You asked again while mixing your cereal

"Isn't that none of your business?" You stopped when you heard those words coming out from his mouth. You glanced at him but he wasn't looking at you, his gaze was fixed upon his phone

"Yep. Sorry for asking" you smiled at him making him look at you

I won't get mad because his words made me realize that I'm nothing to him

So I better stop these feelings before it's too late

These feelings that I have for him will only result in me breaking and I won't allow that. Especially since I'm a mother so I need to be strong for my child

I don't want to break apart just because of these feelings I'm slowly developing for him

You started eating your cereal

"Tsk" he flicked his tongue but you didn't bother to look at him

You quickly finished your bowl and stood up to go to the sink. You placed your bowl at the sink and started walking without batting an eye to hyunjin

"Where are you going?" He asked

"Isn't that none of your business?" You asked while smiling at him. Now I'm just making it seem like I'm angry for what he said

I am kind of sad but not angry it just turns out that the words that he said came to mind so my mouth unconsciously said it

"Did you just mock me?" He asked

"Nope. Those words were the most suitable answer to your question"

He only stared at you, studying your face

"I'm going to go out. It's getting boring here" You said. To be honest, you just want to get fresh air

"Boring?"

"Yeah" he sighed

"Take some gaurds with you" he commanded and looked at minho which was standing in the corner

"I don't need gaurds. I can handle myself" You were stubborn. But you don't want to have gaurds following you everywhere you go

"People might not know you're the mother of my child but people who keep their eyes on me will know about you. They'll target you like what happened with Bangchan" he said

You can't honestly argue with that it's basically true but it's like he's treating me as a weak person who can't even defend herself

"Fine" but I'm not strong enough to fight guns with fists

Hyunjin stood up and you raised your eyebrows at him

"You're tagging along?" You asked. He looked at you as if it was the obvious answer

"Don't you have any work to do?" You asked. That sounded like I'm angry at him because he doesn't have time for me-

Agh this is frustrating

"Those can wait. I want to go out anyways" he said and proceeded to go upstairs to his room

You also went upstairs to your room to change

"Tch it's better if he doesn't tag along. Ugh why does he has to come with me? Wasn't sending gaurds with me enough? Is he doing this on purpose to annoy me? Seriously what's his problem" You mumbled to yourself while looking for clothes to wear

Although this is late but... HAPPY NEW YEAR