✓ PLEASURABLE MESS

thirty four

It was raining, yes raining. What a day. I was walking in the rain without any sort of umbrella to prevent me from getting soaked

I didn't know where I was headed. I felt so empty that I couldn't think straight. So this is how it feels to get your heart broken huh? Wow, it sure is a melancholic feeling

I thought the girls who cry for a man were just overreacting and I would cringe and judge at them but now I understand them

My chest feels heavy. It feels like someone stabbed you in the heart and just continues to push that knife deeper and deeper, while you scream in agony and think your heart will just fall out of your chest but no one's there to help you because they had already left you behind

That's what I would describe what I'm feeling right now. My whole system just completely shut down and now I think I'm lost, surrounded by darkness and the only light that had helped me had vanished

"What the fuck, Y/n!?" I stopped when I heard that familiar voice. That nostalgic voice I hadn't heard in years, I turned around and saw Yuri wearing a coffee worker uniform

"Y-Yuri" I gave her a sad smile and walked to her as I pulled her into a hug

"What the hell happened to you bitch?" Again with those profanities of hers, she never changes. She guided me to a table and sat in front of me

"A-A lot happened to me and I don't..." I started to cry "I don't know how to explain it, it's a little bit complicated" I laughed

"Y/n, you never change do you?" She laughed and I wiped my tears away

"As if you had changed!" We then started to laugh together "You know yuri, ever since that day do you think I messed up?"

"Nah, it was mostly my fault. If I hadn't brought you there you wouldn't have dropped out of school because you were pregnant. I'm sorry Y/n, my life was already messed up but I was the reason your life got tangled up too" she sadly smiled and held my hand

"If your problem is about a guy then dump him, forget about him, live your own life as a single mom! You don't need no man to take care of you because you can take care of yourself! Isn't it fun being single?" Yuri encouragingly said and her facial expression turned into a serious one

"But if you really loved that guy I'm guessing it's not easy to just watch him go, right?" Wow, yuri got some character development while I'm still the same

"But mostly fuck him and live your life to the fullest" she smiled sweetly at me. Okayyyy, maybe half of her changed but old yuri is still there

We talked about everything and every shit that happened to me. It was literally the best feeling that you have someone that you can just complain your problems to

"Damn, your life really is full of shit. If I were you that Hana bitch wouldn't have gotten away with a 360° slap, I would've grab her by the hair and punch her in the stomach then grab her head then I would've gathered all of my strength and shove her head in the window of that luxurious bitch ass car!" I laughed at her comments

"Thankyou so much Yuri for listening on me complaining about my life, it's been 5 years since we've last seen each other and here I am greeting you with loads of shit" Yuri snorted and smacked my hand

"Don't act like that! Even if we don't talk for a hundred of years you're still my friend, and I would always act the same around you" she smiled at me. It made me calm down and happy that I found her here

I bid my farewell to Yuri as soon as the rain stopped pouring and started going back home. Talking to Yuri definitely made me feel better

Sometimes, it's nice to have a friend who knows you.