Convergence

Eighteen

"Charlie what's wrong?" said Harry looking at me curiously, I was dumbstruck. I couldn't even formulate a response, let alone think of a way to save my skin. My heart sank as I heard Jared's voice, "God I hope that's room service, I'm starving ...." he said loudly, coming out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist. He was quickly silenced by the sight of Harry standing in the doorway. Harry stared at Jared for a moment, the realization of what he was seeing suddenly registering. He looked back at me stunned, "Jesus Charlotte, are you fucking kidding me?" he said, shock and anger evident in his voice. "Harry I'm so sorry, I ... I .." I stuttered I didn't know what I could possibly say to him, there was simply no excuse. "How long have you been seeing him behind my back?" he demanded loudly. "Harry please let me explain  ...." I said quickly, he held up a hand interrupting me. "How can you explain this? You've been fucking him behind my back, so have the decency to tell me the truth, how long?" he thundered, I jumped at his raised voice. "Just calm down" said Jared, his voice full of warning. I hastily turned and shook my head to try and silence him. "You, you don't get to speak, you fucking asshole, pretending to be my friend and all the while screwing my girlfriend behind my back! Just tell me, how long!!" he was shouting now. "Stop shouting, can't you see you're frightening her" said Jared, trying keep his voice steady and calm. "It's okay" I said in a tremulous voice to Jared, I turned to answer Harry, "before we left London and tonight, it wasn't ..." I wanted to say many times, but I knew whether it had been one time or a hundred times, the hurt and betrayal was still the same. "I should have known, from the minute you fucking appeared! You big shot rock star! It was you constantly sending her messages wasn't it?!! The way you hovered around her, always appearing, you never left her side whenever she was around. I ignored it, not wanting to seem like the jealous boyfriend, not wanting to smother her. God I'm so stupid!" he said, running his hands through his hair frustratedly. "I'm sorry, it wasn't my intention to deceive you, I honestly like you and the other boys, that wasn't a lie" said Jared quietly. Harry looked up at him incredulously, "fuck off, you pretentious piece of shit, you're a liar, you lied to me. You pretended you were friends with us to give us exposure. All the while it was to further your own agenda" he spat. "That's not true, despite what happened between Charlie and I, my intentions to you and the band were always genuine" said Jared. "Stop talking, I don't want to fucking hear it" said Harry furiously. Jared leaned against the wall with his arms crossed, I knew he was resigned to say nothing more."Harry I'm so sorry, I never meant for you to find out like this ...." I begged. He looked at me incredulously "the truth is you never meant for me to find out at all. I kept wondering what the hell I had done wrong, because God knows you haven't wanted to be with me in a while. Little did I know you were sleeping with him, you didn't need or want my attention" he said, shaking his head.  "Harry, please, I'm sorry, I never meant for this to happen, please forgive me" I begged. "Save it, I don't want to hear it, you betrayed me, plain and simple" he said shaking his head and turning towards the door. "I never meant to hurt you, I know you must hate me ...." I rambled. He turned to look at me, "hate you? how could I hate you, I love you Charlotte, didn't you realize that? I never said it, it was never the right time, but I guess it doesn't matter now does it" he said defeatedly. I shriveled at his words, shame engulfing me. "Please forgive me Harry, I'm so sorry" I begged again, trying to take hold of his hand. He shook his head, "no, you can live with your guilt, I'm done being a fool" he pulled away from me, gave Jared one more disgusted glance and left, slamming the door shut behind him. I covered my face with my hands, sobs racking my body. I felt arms take hold of me gently and walk me over to the bed. He lay me down and cradled me against him as I cried. "He was angry, he'll forgive you eventually" he said softly, stroking my hair and softly kissing my forehead. "Im sorry, I should never have put you in this position ...." I started to say, but he put a finger to my lips to stop me. "Shh don't, don't apologize to me, I'm as much to blame, if not more" he said firmly. As my sobs started to subside, the guilt that had so often wracked me, had loosened its hold a little. It was now sadness and regret that I felt, I had truly never meant to hurt him. There was a knock at the door, I lifted my head at the same time as Jared. "This has to be room service" he said warily. He let me go and got up to answer the door. I lay there listening, sure enough it was room service, he let them in and quickly ushered them out of the room. I felt the bed dip behind me and his arm wrapped around my waist. "Are you hungry?" he said softly, I shook my head silently. "Yeah, I've kind of lost my appetite as well" he said sighing. "Do you want me to leave?" he asked reluctantly. I turned to look at him, "no, please stay, I don't want to be alone right now" I said in a hoarse whisper, snaking my arm around his waist. He nodded pulling me close to him again, my body relaxed against his as I melted into his embrace, slowly drifting off into an exhausted sleep.