Convergence

Twenty Two

So this was the chapter that was meant to come next!!!! Hopefully it'll all make much more sense now!!
Picks up from Chapter Twenty One.
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"How do you know what to do?" he asked. He was lying across the bed, Oli was gripping his finger, trying to bite it. "I read a lot, I ask people. I don't know what I'm doing half the time. I'm just trying my best" I said. "You look like you're in complete control" he laughed. I shook my head, "well that's good because sometimes I just sit in the shower and sob. I worry that I'm doing a terrible job" I replied with a sigh. He looked up at me and frowned, "Charlotte I'm sure that's not true" he said. I shrugged, "it's okay, he seems pretty happy most of the time" I said. "Say goodnight, you're going to sleep now" I whispered to Oli picking him up. He squirmed and squealed a little as I put him down wrapping him up. Jared was looking over my shoulder at him, I gently pushed him back and pointed to the door. I could hear Oli cry a little, he always did and then he stopped. As we stood outside, we could hear him babbling quietly to himself. I nodded and smiled. "He'll sleep now, he just likes to see if he can get away with being naughty" I said softly. "Does he?" he asked as we walked back downstairs. "Mm, sometimes, I try not to spoil him, but he's just too adorable" I said. I sat down on the bottom step, while he leaned against the wall. "So, what comes next?" he said. I looked up at him, "I'm kind of hungry actually" I mused, he laughed and nodded, "I could go a bite". A couple of hours later we were sitting on the floor next to the coffee table, picking at the leftovers. "I always liked that about us Charlotte, we could sit in silence and it was never awkward. It was just comfortable and peaceful" he said. I nodded, "it was nice, yes" I agreed taking a sip of water. "Is that what it's like with your girlfriend?" I asked casually. He frowned, "she's not my girlfriend. And no, it's not like that, she talks, a lot. Sometimes I just can't handle the constant chatter" he replied with a sigh. I nodded, but didn't reply. "What are we going to do, where do we go from here?" he said. I thought about his question for a moment or two, "you can come and visit him whenever you like" I said. "Okay" he said slowly. "If you want to, you're under no obligation to visit or even ...." I stopped, suddenly feeling a little offended on Oli's behalf. "Even what?" he prompted. "Nothing" I said shortly. "No, say it" he insisted. I exhaled and spoke, "you're under no obligation to be involved" I said, my voice sounding a little defeated. He furrowed his brow and I could tell he was thinking carefully about what he wanted to say. "I want to be involved, I don't know how that's going to work just yet. But we'll figure it out" he said. I tried to ignore the lump forming in my throat, instead I nodded. "Oh yeah, of course. I understand" I said, trying to hide my disappointment. He could be very involved if he chose to. I had run a range of emotions today, shock, fear, acceptance and now, disappointment. I guess I just thought he would fall in love with him immediately, like I had. "I feel like this day has lasted forever. We have been through so many emotions. When I saw you in the bookshop today, I never thought in a million years that I would be sitting here at 11.00 o'clock at night, discussing our child" he said shaking his head. "I was just thinking the same thing" I replied quietly. "I should probably go" he said. I nodded, wondering if he'd come back, but I wasn't about to ask. "I'll come, tomorrow. I've got meetings till 2, then I'm free" he said. I looked up at him, "sure, we'll be here" I nodded. He called his car and was standing at the door about ten minutes later, ready to go. "Bye Charlie, see you tomorrow" he said, pulling me into an unexpected hug. My arms tightened lightly around his neck and I realized how much I'd missed him. The heart ache that had lessened over the months came back stronger than ever. He let go, not before kissing me softly on the cheek, dangerously close to my lips. I was suddenly a little flustered, being close to him again had me in a bit of a daze. "Well, okay. Bye" I stammered. I watched as he went down the path into a waiting car, slowly driving off. I sighed shaking my head, he'd managed to turn my life upside down, again.

Jared's POV -
Clara directed me through the French doors into the garden. It was small but beautifully manicured. The afternoon sun was shining brightly, but the air was crisp. I looked out and stopped, the baby was lying on a blanket and Charlotte was taking photos of him. He was laughing and squealing and her smile was amazing. "You are so beautiful! Look at that face" she cooed to him as she snapped. It brought back so many memories of her running around, taking photos of me on tour. I walked out, slowly approaching them. "This brings back memories, you behind a lens" I said smiling. She looked up surprised to see me, a frown on her face. "Well he loves getting his picture taken" she said looking back down at him. There was that smile again. I dropped to my knees on the blanket and reached out to grab his little hand. He turned curiously, kicking his legs and smiling at me. My heart suddenly picked up it's pace, a surge of affection hitting me unexpectedly. "Hey little man" I said smiling at him. "Can I pick him up?" I asked, about to reach out. "No, we're about to go back inside" she said shaking her head. I frowned, "I can ..." I started to say, but she interrupted. "No" she said sharply, picking him up herself. "What's up Charlie?" I sighed as I followed her in. She ignored me for a minute while she put her camera down. "What happened since I saw you yesterday?" I said exhaling, trying to keep calm. "Nothing, it's just, I've .... had time to think and I don't know that it's a good idea .... you being in our lives. It will be too confusing for him, popping in once every couple of years" she said stiffly, looking away. I frowned, "I'm not going to pop in every couple of years, I want to see him. Often" I said. But she stubbornly shook her head, "you said it yourself, you can't be involved. You live in LA, it's just too hard" she said, I could see her desperately reigning in her emotions. "That's not what I said Charlotte. Stop changing my words to suit your agenda. Though I'm kind of confused as to what it is right now" I said raising a questioning eyebrow. "It's protecting my son" she said quietly. I sighed and shook my head, realization suddenly dawning on me. "I'm not going to hurt our son Charlotte. Look, I know you wanted me to fall in love with him the moment I saw him. What you have to remember is, I walked into a totally unexpected situation. This unique little person was thrust into my life and it's gonna take me a minute to get used to it. But don't doubt, I want to be in his life" I said reassuringly. She stubbornly refused to look at me, a couple of solitary tears rolling down her cheeks. "But you don't care about him, you don't love him, and .... you probably never will" she said with a little sniff. God she was infuriating!! "Charlotte, don't presume to know what I'm feeling" I snapped. "Maybe you should leave" she sighed. I groaned, "that's your answer to everything! You can't kick me out Charlotte, this isn't just about you and me anymore, this is about our son" I said angrily. Oli let out a cry, she immediately knelt down to pick him up. "Charlotte, I don't want to fight with you. I don't want to upset him or you" I said calmly, I stepped forward, but she took a step away. "Charlotte, you alright?" I heard a voice ask, her brother appeared. I exhaled and leant back on the wall. She quickly dashed the tears away, "I'm fine, we're just chatting. I'm going to the bathroom, can you just take him for a minute?" she asked him. He hesitated for a moment before saying, "give him to Jared" crossing his arms across his chest. She frowned at him, turning to me reluctantly. I reached out taking him from her, tucking him against my chest happily. He had stopped grizzling now and was instead fascinated with the beads hanging around my neck. Babbling and drooling happily, holding onto it. "It took everything she had to survive this last year. Even with us supporting her. She was broken" he said as soon as she had disappeared, I looked up at him, surprised by the admission. "All I want is for her to be happy. If you've no intention of sticking around for Oli, be honest with her, she deserves that" he said seriously. "I'm not going anywhere, I'm here for him" I said curtly. "Well, I'm glad" he said and gave me a firm nod. "I'll take him" I heard her say as she reappeared before I could reply. "It's okay, he's happy enough" I said. "I'll see you later love, I'm off to the bar" said Charles kissing her on the cheek. "Where's Clara?" she asked him. "She's meeting me there" he said. "Goodnight" he said to me stiffly, I nodded as he left.