Luan's Wolf

4. Realisation

Though I felt the warrior's anger practically radiating from him as he led me downstairs, the man didn't touch me. I was used to pack warriors not shying away from shoving and growling if someone didn't hurry enough to their liking. Often counteractive as I'd seen plenty of people freeze in fear. I was close to that state myself as the warriors made me descend the stairs. One walked in front of me, one behind. I had nowhere to run.

The only thing saving me from going into a panic because I, honest to the Moon Goddess, had no idea what the warriors were accusing me of, was my father standing in the hallway downstairs.

"Dad?" I asked in a small voice. "What's going on?"

His face was unreadable. I only caught a faint hint of emotion in his dark eyes; regret. His pulse, which I heard racing in his chest, didn't make me feel any calmer. He walked with us.

"It'll be okay," Dad said, trying to keep his composure. "Just move along quietly and do as they ask."

My dad's suggestion appeared to be the only viable one I had, regardless. I couldn't outrun or fight these pack warriors.

I still didn't understand why they wanted me to follow, but it didn't take long for me to realise our destination.

The East wing.

The panic that welled up in me at the thought of facing Luan and the strange Alpha effect he'd had on me again in front of the warriors triumphed the fear I had of the warriors.

I came to an abrupt halt. The warrior behind me knocked into me and nearly bowled me over.

"I cannot go in there," I breathed. "Please. Why are you taking me here?"

The warrior behind me pressed his palm against my back and shoved.

"Move," he ordered, ignoring my words.

Dad let it happen, but I saw him flinch when I stumbled forward.

"River, you have to go see the Alpha," he calmly told me. "As a matter of fact, it's of the utmost importance that you do. Luan's life and ours may depend on it."

"W-what?" I stammered.

Just last night, I was a 'houseboy.' All but thrown out of Luan's room by these same warriors that now forced me to go there. And nobody would explain a thing to me. I didn't have a clue how they thought I could do anything for the Alpha if even my mom and dad couldn't immediately.

"River," Dad said, making my eyes shoot to him. "Tell me honestly: did you feel anything weird when you were faced with Luan? When you caught his scent?"

I opened and closed my mouth like a goldfish. How the hell did he know?!

"What? No!" I lied. Poorly.

The warrior in front of me looked over his shoulder and rolled his eyes at my feeble display and terrible lying skills. We'd arrived at the double doors leading to the East wing and came to a halt.

"Doctor Carter, we'll need you to prepare this sanctuary for a visit of Alpha Cecilia and Derek shortly," the taller of the two warriors said. "Make sure your son understands what this entails."

Dad dipped his head. "Of course."

"Yes, could someone explain what's happening?" I blurted, my mouth speaking before my brain could catch up with it. "Please," I swiftly added when the shorter but stockier and more aggressive warrior glared at me.

I averted my gaze and turned to my dad. The only one of these three men I actually expected an answer from. But it didn't come.

Dad hesitated. "That's something you will have to discuss with Luan, if our hunch is correct," he dodged the question. "If it's not you, you will be out of the East wing within a few seconds. I promise."

"But—" I started protesting. I didn't get time to say more.

The warriors opened the double doors and pushed me into the living room.

"Go to him," the taller warrior ordered. "Immediately."

The double doors closed, and I was suddenly standing alone in the East wing living room area.

I knew the warrior would be angry if I didn't do what he said and walked to Luan's room without dawdling. But I couldn't do it. I couldn't quite grasp what had happened.

One moment I'm in my room, restless and unable to forget about Luan, the patient whose presence terrified me. The next, vague references to 'if it's him' and my dad knowing I'd had a strange reaction to Luan's presence. People thinking I could somehow help him.

As I tried to piece everything together, suddenly, it hit me.

The plunging and soaring of my heart. Luan's scent hitting me like bricks to the face. Unable to stop thinking about him.

I released a shuddering breath.

No.

No.

That wasn't possible.

If this was what I was thinking about and couldn't even admit to myself in words, it just— just couldn't be. These kinds of bonds were rare. Extremely rare, and they didn't happen to people like me. They happened to Cecilia and Derek, who made the strongest pack of the West together. Derek had been a perfect, strong, Alpha husband for Cecilia. 

As an outcasted werewolf, I'd only be a burden to Luan.

Again, more puzzle pieces fell in place and everything made far more sense than I wanted it to. The reactions of the warriors were in line with what I'd expected if a mere 'houseboy' was their future Alpha's mate. They want Luan to have a strong mate, not someone like me. Someone who was technically from a warrior line, but turned out so weak he was kicked out of the pack and disowned.

I reached for my chest, trying to stop myself from hyperventilating.

What should I do? What could I do?

Luan was right there, behind the next set of doors.

Was he awake now? He had to be, else the warriors couldn't have found out his mate was in this building. I sure as hell had told nobody about my feelings around him; I hadn't even realised what they were. Upon waking up, Luan must have notified his warriors he picked up his mate's scent in the castle, and was now expecting a strong, proud man like himself to walk through the door to meet him.

Slowly, I stepped backwards until I was pressed against the double doors behind me, as far away as possible from the bedroom doors. I knew I wouldn't be able to leave until I'd met Luan with those warriors guarding the East wing, but I was nailed to the floor with fear.

Luan would be disappointed if he saw me. He would reject me, or worse, take one look and tell his warriors to get rid of me for him. As long as he hadn't marked me and solidified our soul bond, there was nothing really stopping him from doing so.

There'd be regret and pain in such an order, even if I disgusted him; he'd be going against the judgement of nature. But a future Alpha like Luan could easily weigh his options and decide he could live with that if that meant he didn't have to put up with a weak mate at his side. Especially now, with the curse, and a cruel twin brother who'd inherit the pack if he didn't, also hanging over his head.

I knew how warrior packs worked. I knew warrior Alphas. Their decisions were cold and calculated, and certainly not made with the heart. I doubted they had a heart sometimes. If I walked into that bedroom, I walked towards my death. I was completely sure of it, and my trembling legs now even refused to hold my weight. I sank to the floor in a pathetic pile.

As my mind raced through my options: jump out the window, stand, walk tall, and accept I was going to die here, or delay the inevitable as long as possible, the decision was made for me. 

The bedroom doors swung open from the other side.