Arcadia [h.s.]

Chapter 18

Brief advice: The characters in this story make very controversial decisions. It is important to read the details (those long paragraphs) when judging their actions and not just read the dialogue, to get more insight. Hope this helps as the story goes on!

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I can see now that all of these clouds are following me in my desperate endeavor / to find my whoever, wherever they may be
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Arcadia

The standard child is expected to grow up with two parents. Typically, children emulate both parents' psychological qualities. You know, mom's anxiety and dad's lack of empathy, or maybe a mixture of their behavior toward each other. It's almost frustrating to have two different people deciding what a child's psyche should be.

Noel hated when her dad would tell her that it was wrong to have sex when you simply weren't ready because boys just didn't care about a girl's feelings at seventeen. Yet, the next minute, her mother was telling her to make sure you have sex before you get married so you know what you're getting into and what you like.

She definitely took her mom's advice on that one.

But she wasn't here anymore to give her that advice and now Noel realized what it was like to have only one perspective on life-changing decisions.

Her mom wasn't here to be her confidant about boys anymore. Her dad didn't want to hear about the guy his daughter was fucking while playing with another man's feelings.

He didn't want to hear that she was only doing this to make him happy because now she only had one parent left and she couldn't disappoint or burden this one.

Noel was looking outside of her window, occasionally sipping on a black chai tea which she made with an extra cinnamon stick because the view of the snow outside was far too fluffy to not be accompanied by the sweet aroma of warm, chocolate-like swirls.

When her phone vibrated, she furrowed her brows because Sundays were always her days off from any work-related subjects.

Damien:
Hi...

Noel:
Hi

Damien:
I'm sorry for how I reacted, okay?

Noel:
No, don't. It's my fault. I know it seems like I'm leading you on.

Cause you are, her subconscious admitted for the forefront of her mind.

Damien:
Look, I don't know what's holding you back but it seems like something heavy. I understand if you just want space to deal with things.

Her chest fell because it kind of scared her someone could sense she was behaving... abnormal. Had she been making it too obvious lately?

Noel:
I promise I'm okay. I'm just not used to dating. But, you're right. It would be wrong of me to keep confusing you. I don't want to lose you.

Stop pretending like he's going to fix you, her subconscious screamed again. Maybe he's the exception, she replied. He's not. Your problem won't go away, It said. Yes, it will. You'll see. Noel promised.

Damien:
You won't, I swear. I really like you and want to see you happy. If that means taking a minute to think things through, then that's what we'll do.