Arcadia [h.s.]

Chapter 11

If you find that silver lining, you're already in deep / This could be your last hope.

-
Arcadia

To Noel's worst demise, her father was the first one awake today, sitting at the island counter with a homemade latte perched in front of him. If the aroma of bitter, caramelized coffee beans wasn't creating its own coup of the kitchen and living room, she would have gone right back to bed. But, like all coups, she had no choice but to surrender.

"Good morning," Leo chimed with a smile after looking up to what was probably another ESPN article, reporting about the Cleveland Indians game last night. Noel never knew why anyone would name a baseball team after a term that was derived from some guy's interpretation of what he thought he was encountering. It was actually quite offensive, considering she herself was the offspring of colonization.

But, Leo and Indians-fans alike, didn't care to speak about that so long as the team wasn't averaging under .500. Whatever that meant.

"I'm glad you learned how to use the espresso machine," Noel smiled and began to make herself just a regular coffee.

"Your mom taught me. It was horrible though, I made a mess..." he fell into another one of those stories that Noel, once again, had no idea ever happened.

But, she figured she was mistaken because it didn't feel like he fell into the story but rather nudged himself toward a slippery puddle in the middle of a grocery store, hoping for compensation.

"Dad," she said after he finished a rant, "why are you doing this?"

"Doing what?"

"Bringing her up," Noel set the glass mug of coffee on the counter a little to aggressively.

Suddenly her dad was upset, "Look, we gotta stop cutting through this damn conversation, Noel. You're a grown woman and you won't continue to develop if you ignore what happened."

"I live in another country, I'd say I'm pretty developed, dad."

"Just because you moved to another country, doesn't make that statement true. You were running away," he chuckled bitterly, the same way he did when he was trying to cover up a condescending act.

"Well, you let me leave!"

"You were going to leave anyway!" He yelled a little too loudly for comfort and suddenly took a deep breath and looked behind him to make sure no one was awake yet. Turning back to his daughter, "you wanted to leave right away and you know it."

"I always talked about studying abroad," she looked down at her fingers.

"We had no money to send you away, Noel. So, you figured not going to college and going straight to work was the best escape that you could afford. Am I wrong?"

She could remember the last time his attitude was just as rhetorical. His precious daughter had just given away her flower to some boy who didn't deserve it.

That boy is going to hurt you, Noel. Am I wrong?

He wasn't.

But, she didn't let him know that. Instead, she allowed him to see what was left of her fight in this conversation which was a single ounce of dignity which he probably confused with her typical obstinacy. Nonetheless, she was out the door faster than when she purchased her plane ticket to a place far, far away from the origins of this interaction.