Arcadia [h.s.]

Chapter 28

I'm choosing my confessions/ Trying to keep an eye on you/ Like a hurt, lost, and blinded fool

-
Arcadia

Noel finally showed up to work. However, if Harry hadn't slept over and woken her up the next morning, she doubted she would have gone.

She could remember what it felt like to be in his arms— those arms which held her as if she were the most important thing in his life. Yet, in a way, Noel hoped she wasn't. But then she hoped she was.

He smelled like a showery cologne but if she dug her nose deep enough into his neck she'd smell the hints of linen soap coming from his t-shirt. And all that quickly, he had become the single most prominent thing of Noel's existence. She prayed he didn't know that.

"Well, well, well," she heard none other than her best friend's voice. Although the term "best friend" was likely not applicable anymore based on the way they've been distancing each other.

Noel would have loved to tell her the truth, but she couldn't. Normality growing up is having a best friend who is also a confidant.

"Are you going to tell me what the hell you've been up to this past week?" She took a seat across from her in the cafeteria.

"I know, I know. I've been a horrible friend for ignoring you and I'm sorry."

"Noel," Caitlin sighed, "I've been a horrible friend. I was so caught up with Amari and work that I never even stopped by to check on you."

"You don't need to check on me," the other girl mumbled, looking down at her fingers.

"Well too bad because I am now. You need to tell me what went down. All of it."

So Noel sighed and began talking. From her hurting Harry's feelings to him forgiving her. She spared the details about her depressive episode— which Noel tried to convince herself wasn't a depressive episode at all. It was just a hiccup.

It wasn't like it was something she was experiencing every day and she was here at work, wasn't she? Depressed people don't work. Not like this. She already had two accepted pitches on just this day. Things were good, she was good.

"Fuck, Noel," Caitlin ran a hand through her hair, "so you really did hurt his feelings didn't you? Why'd it even hurt him that bad?" She referred to the hateful statement her friend had told him that night in the hotel bathroom.

Because he was sexually abused as a child and making him feel like I was using him for sex brought those memories back, Noel thought.

Of course, this wasn't something she could tell Caitlin. She had a pretty good feeling that she was the only person Harry had disclosed that information to and she wasn't about to abuse his trust again.

"I think I'm his girlfriend now," Noel blurted.

Her friend smiled, "Fuck off, you're joking. Did he ask you?"

"He implied it, so, I guess, yeah."

"Well I'm happy for you, you know? Oh, we should do double dates!"

Noel immediately cringed and she was sure Harry would too if he'd heard that proposition.

Instead, she shrugged, "I can try to convince him." Ha. She couldn't even convince herself of that.

Had she and Harry even been on a date before in general? Like, a proper one? This would be something she'd keep in mind.

"Fuck I gotta go, Sara has been on my ass ever since I almost missed a deadline graphic for last week's editorial."