Dauntless transferee

The Aptitude Test

"Well, when you were in the simulation, were you aware that it wasn't real?" asked an Abnegation woman. She was one of the Priors. Natalie was her name perhaps. Her dirty blonde hair was tied up in a tight bun and her grey clothes were neat like all the other Abnegations. 

"No, ma'am. If I was then I wouldn't have eaten my lips off," I responded as she looked at me with a studied gaze that doesn't actually belongs to an Abnegation. 

"Well, congratulations! You are a practical Erudite," she suddenly spoke again. 

"Practical?" I asked.

"You showed practicality in the test that most textbook Erudites don't," she explained still with that 'I don't still understand what you are' look. 

"I hope you are pleased," she spoke after a pause.

I slowly get up and make my way to the door and before I leave I pause. "Yes, yes I am. "

"Have a nice day mrs. Prior," I say before closing the door. I saw the look that passed over her face before the door was in it's place. She thought I wouldn't recognize, like hell I wouldn't. 

I get out of the test room and in the cafeteria towards the Erudite table. It was always covered with books and papers. I move a few books in front of the glass window and sit down. Aki hasn't finished hers yet. A seat away from me is Zeki, his father was Dauntless-born Erudite transferee. He had dark skin and blonde hair with the fake glasses perched on the bridge of his nose which he's looking over it and reading a note from another Erudite girl. Counting me it was only five people with Zeki and another guy named Bane Scott and Amelina and Robina. 

"So, how was it Fia?" Aki asked me, she was one of the last ones to get out along with a guy named Mallen Casse from Candor who got a few yells from his Candor table when he came through the door. 

After the speeches and when I returned to the Erudite headquarters. My blue dress shirt was a bit creased on the waist as it was a bit out of my blue jeans. After changing and eating I walk to the back set of windows that overlook an alleyway that runs out of the Erudite compound. I take my blue undershirt and jeans with a blue sweater wrap. The summer days maybe warm as a frying pan or the flames under the beakers back in the labs but the night was really cool. The alley was empty as I always found it after sunset. I walk without any sound or echo of my boots. I've had a lot of practice sneaking away. I walk towards the factionless sector. I was always told that the factionless were vile. But most of the factionless i saw were afraid of me. But still, I have a knife on me and pepper spray every time I get out like this. The nearest building is an abandoned supermall. I go in there and sit there on the broken escalator. I often do this. The mall was once grand but it's all destroyed. Trees and other shrubs are sprouting from the broken marble tiled floor which is yellowed from no care. I found this place when I was seven. Young and scared when I found out my mother bringing a factionless woman and testing a blue serum on her. I can see the dirty woman's body shake as her filthy skin dry up like all the fluids were being sucked out and turning into paper in front of my own eyes back in the lab. That was the first time I saw my mother experiment on a human. I was there for giving my mother my test result, she didn't care whether I was afraid or not, she explained that it was one of the developed torture serums that she was working on. And when I told her it wasn't right to use it on another human she laughed without humor and said, "Sofia, this things don't fall in human category. If they were they would be like us. Being in the faction system. As they are animalistic they don't want the faction system. So they aren't human beings. And please eliminate that selfless acts out of your system. It won't do any good if you be all Abnegation 'Stiff'." I was thoroughly horrified, I can't believe she's my mother but I know I won't get anywhere by resisting so I nod my head along with her but in my heart I know that is inhumane and immoral.

That night I carefully climbed down to the sunshed below our second floor living quarters' window and slowly lowered myself to the ground. But I fell on my knees. It hurt but not bad so I walk through the trimmed grassy backyard and to the wall that is maybe five feet or so and climb it by using all the hedges on the bricks. I wasn't the athletic type but I still had barely passable strength. It wasn't evening yet as the sun was just sinking and creating long shadows on the rundown alleyway behind the Erudite living quarters. I decided to hide behind one of the debris as I saw a factionless man going through some old empty cans. After what I saw in the Lab I can't look at the man without seeing the tortured woman. I want to cry. I want someone to hug me. It was so terrible. After a while just as the lights began to fade from the sunset the man walked away from the area and I decided to walk further down there and I reached the first stable looking structure, which is the place I'm currently in. The mall was cold and lone, like me. I went into a shop that had supposedly sold watches as there were some on display still. I made myself home there. I was afraid for a few weeks, but as the time went away I know that it is the best place I'll get. So I waste my time here.

Tomorrow, I have to attend Choosing Ceremony. I have to choose Dauntless. 

Wait...............

Have to?

But why do I feel excited? Do I really want to have my life dangling from a cord all the time? To be honest, yes I do. I want the adrenaline that flows through when I stand at the back window of my living quarters before getting out of there. How the cold wind comes in and hits my face like invisible water. I want to run like there is no tomorrow, till my lungs give up on me and my legs die out. 

I want to dangle on the edge of Life-Death. 

Guess I am my father's daughter.