Dalliance ➵ poems

everything I didn't say

this is everything I didn't say
whilst we were intoxicated in the play
sleepless and out of breath
dry mouths like we're after death
I love you was all there was to state
I tried to think of other words to compensate 
Writing them to remember
And ending up with the same old paper
Crowded and worn
Filled to the brim with sentences
I love you written in different penances
Sprinkled with the streaks of blue
The sun breaking into hues
Shining over my ceiling
As I drowned in your leaving
Like you'd care if a car drove over me
And you were the driver
Because I didn't know how to say
And this was the only way
Taking the risk of your apathy
I can never run away from the reality
It's a sin to open my mouth
And let it all out
So instead I kept the letter hidden
One day for the fire to consume
But it remains written
Until it burrows deep 
And comes exploding with all the colors of the spectrum 
This is everything I didn't say
I'm terrified of looking into your eyes
And seeing the truth
That you don't know what to do
I'm scared of looking into my eyes
And knowing the truth
That no matter what I do
It's still going to be you
I could make myself again and again
Building everything from scratch
But it only takes one touch
For everything to crash
Behind that pretty smile is my demise
You're the only one who can ruin everything.