Chapter 3

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A few months had passed and Magnus was getting no where with his search to find a way of stabilizing his magic. Catarina and Raphael were really worried about how long Magnus could last with his magic like this. Magnus hated to admit it but he knew his magic was hurting him and it was getting worse the more he used it. He had collapsed again this morning but thankfully Alec was at the institute all day so he didn't know this had happened.

Magnus knew he should have told him what happened but then he would have to tell him the truth about his magic and he would have to ask Lorenzo for help. Lorenzo despised him, there was no way Lorenzo would help him for free. So Magnus really wanted to avoid going to him as he knew Lorenzo would ask a painful price just to hurt him.

He had already given up one of his beloved cats to Lorenzo to get the magic from him in the first place. Lorenzo knew how much Magnus' cats meant to him. He wasn't ashamed to admit they were like family to him, despite Raphael teasing him for it. He missed Bella so much, he had named the cat after a past love as she gave the cat to him as a present. Bella had been the last girl he had been with before Alec. He was heartbroken when Bella had been murdered. Which was why he had sworn off love before meeting Alec.

So his cat Bella had meant a great deal to him. He felt bad about never telling Alec that he had named the cat after his past lover, especially as Alec used to play with Bella a lot but he didn't want him to get jealous. He hated Lorenzo even more for taking Bella away from him.

Catarina had come over again and was trying to get Magnus to go to Lorenzo again which was really frustrating him, "Cat you know what he has put me through. I can't ask him for help". 

Catarina crossed her arms in irritation, "Alec had been willing to do it for you before you erased his memory. If you hadn't done that you wouldn't be in this position". 

"I know, don't you think I feel bad enough about what I did without you throwing it in my face all the time?" 

"Don't try to make me feel guilty Magnus, you are the one in the wrong not me! You erased Alec's memory just to avoid fighting with him! Raphael and I have given you plenty of time this has gone on for too long. You need to come clean with Alec or go to Lorenzo yourself. Your magic is killing you". 

Magnus sighed and conjured a cocktail for himself, "I'm sorry Cat I know you're right, but if I'm honest with Alec I could lose him as well as my magic at the same time. I don't think I could survive that". 

Catarina hugged Magnus, "I hate to say it, but if you keep using magic like this you will die and you will lose Alec anyway. At least this way you will live and if he ends things with you, you will have the chance to win him back. You won't have that chance if you are dead". 

"I wouldn't even be mad at Alexander if he broke up with me, he would have every right to. I would break up with him if he erased my memory against my will. Which is why I can't tell him, I would rather face Lorenzo myself than lose Alec". 

"I just hope you know what you are doing Magnus, Lorenzo is going to ask for a steep price. Are you prepared for that?" 

"I already gave him Bella, I can handle whatever else he will ask me to give him". 

"I can go with you for moral support if you want". 

Magnus smiled gratefully at Cat, he knew she was still mad at him for what he had done but he was so relieved he hadn't lost her as his best friend. "That means a lot Cat, but I need to do this alone". 

Unbeknownst to Magnus and Catarina Alec had got back home earlier than normal and had been about to drop his things off in their bedroom, when he had heard his name. He hadn't meant to eavesdrop but as Magnus and Catarina were talking about him, he couldn't help it. By the end of the conversation Alec wished he had never overheard it. 

Alec knew tears were falling down his face but he was too upset to bother wiping them off. He was devestated. How could Magnus do this to him? He had trusted Magnus with everything and he had betrayed him. It all made sense now, he had been wondering  for months why he had felt so off. He knew what was missing now. 

He was even more upset when he realized Magnus had been keeping it a secret from him for half a year and that Catarina had been helping him. His heart sunk more as he realized Raphael had been too, he remembered the day Raphael had come back to his office to tell him something. He must have been trying to tell him what Magnus had done, but he hadn't told him. He had lied to him and kept it a secret. 

Alec and Raphael had been hanging out a lot more since then and Alec thought he could count Raphael as a close friend. He had thought the same about Catarina too and they had both betrayed him. Alec didn't know what to do, he was overwhelmed with the pain of what Magnus had done to him. But at the same time he was so afraid for Magnus' well being. 

It sounded like Magnus's magic was putting him in danger, but he had at least agreed to go to Lorenzo for help. Alec wasn't sure if he should confront Magnus about this or wait and hope that Magnus would change his mind and tell him the truth. Alec couldn't stay in the loft, so he ran back to the institute. He was suprised Magnus couldn't tell he was at the loft, but maybe he was too focused on his conversation with Catarina to notice. 

That stung too, the fact that Magnus was so worried about what to do about his magic that he had ignored his presence. Alec knew he needed to talk to someone he trusted before he made up his mind about what to do about Magnus. The trouble was his siblings were overprotective of him and would be too angry to give him good advice. He considered talking to Clary but she had grown protective of him too now that they were close. 

Alec decided to go to his best friend Andrew Underhill, though Andrew was protective he could at least keep a level head. One of Alec's colleagues who didn't hate him told him Andrew was in hid bedroom. Alec knocked on the door and came in when Andrew said he could. 

Though Alec had tried to wipe his eyes before leaving his room at the institute, Andrew could tell he had been crying which made him worried about Alec. He really admired and respected Alec for making him feel safe to be openly gay. And he was so happy they had become best friends. "Alec what's wrong?" Andrew said and patted the spot beside him on the bed to indicate Alec could sit next to him. 

When Alec had sat down he told Andrew everything and was unable to stop himself breaking down. Andrew pulled Alec into a hug and tried to comfort him. "I hate that bastard for doing this to you", Andrew said fiercly, "But don't worry I know you don't want me to punch him". 

"I don't know what to do Andrew, I love him but I feel so hurt and betrayed by what Magnus did to me". 

"I don't blame you, I would have felt the same way. I understand the position you're in, maybe you could try talking to Magnus and try to make it work. But if the talk doesn't work out and you feel you can't trust him anymore then I think you should break up with him". 

"Thank you Andrew, I'll talk to Magnus", Alec said tearfully. He didn't want to lose Magnus so he was willing to try and talk to Magnus. But like Andrew said he couldn't stay with Magnus if the talk went badly and he felt he couldn't trust him. He couldn't continue with the relationship if he was constantly worried about important memories Magnus may have erased. Alec stayed with Andrew until he felt ready to confront Magnus about what he had done. 


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