Chapter 1

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Chapter 1:

"Well, lads that was a tough year but now we can do whatever we wanna do!" Louis says.
We all are sitting in the living room, Louis and I next to each other on the couch, my arm is lying around his shoulders.

"Yay!!! What are we going to do? Do you have any plans?"
"I want to visit my family for sure"
"Me too"

"I thought maybe we could go on vacation? For example to Hawaii?"
"Liam that's a great idea! I'd love to" I say excitedly.
"I'm on board. Just a vacay for us three lads" Louis gives us an excited look "Or do you want to come with us after all?" he looks over to Zayn and Niall.

"I guess my family has to wait then until we're back! I can't miss this adventure."
"Me neither!" Zayn says.

We all start screaming like little girls when they get a new doll and start making plans for this holiday.

A vacation with all the boys, what if that's the perfect time to come out? I could plan some dates for Louis and me.  That way I could find out if he wants more, like me, or not.  And I could tell the others about my crush on the love of my life so they can help me.

Harry, did you just say that? Love of your life? Wait, that actually sounds pretty good. I guess he really is the love of my fucking life.

"Have you already booked anything Payno?" I hear Lou asking and concentrate again on the conversation.
"Actually, yes, I did and I found the perfect house to stay. It has an own pool and it's right at the beach."

"A vacation just us, without any pressure. That is amazing I am so happy. When do we start?" Niall asks while jumping up and down on the couch.
"I thought maybe tomorrow? Since you guys are so thrilled about the trip-"

He couldn't continue because we started screaming again.
"We're going to Hawaii!"
"There is a jungle, right? Can we go there?"
"Please and we have to do campfires at the beach!"

"What are you so excited for?" we hear Paul asking. We turn around and say at the same time:

"WE'RE TRAVELLING TO HAWAII!!"

We run to him and hug him tight as possible.

"Woah, boys I wanna live a little longer" he chuckles as we move away from him and tell him about our plans we've already made up.

"We have to go to the beach as often as possible," Niall says.
"But I can't swim..." Zayn notes.
"We could teach you how to. That would be fun" Louis suggests looking at Zayn. It seems like he thinks about the pro and cons but at the end, he nods.
"And we have to go shopping I haven't had new clothes in so long," I say.
"Yes, and we have to eat ice cream as much as possible. It's a vacation so that's a must," Niall adds after receiving a look from all of us.

"I think you boys should go to bed now" Paul interrupts us. "Tomorrow you'll have enough time to talk about it. The flight will be exhausting enough and you'll have a yet-lag."

I look at the clock and see that it's almost midnight.

"That's a good idea I am tired. Good night boys. See you tomorrow and don't forget to set you an alarm" Liam says before going to his room.
I suddenly feel exhausted as well because of everything that happened today.

I go into my bathroom and get ready for bed. As soon as I lay down I try to process everything that happened today.

I know one thing for sure: This will be the vacation I will never forget. Not just because I get to spend it with my favourite lads, but because I want to tell them that I am gay. I came to that conclusion because I know it would come out sooner or later.

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