Once. (Larry Stylinson)

Two Ghosts.

Nothing makes you hurt like hurting who you love
And no amount of words will ever be enough
I looked you in the eyes, saw that I was lost
For every question "why", you were my "because".

These high walls never broke my soul, and I
I watched them all come falling down
I watched them all come falling down for you
Falling down for you.

2013.

The sweater that used to be a beautiful powder pink, was now dripping with red. Louis couldn't believe what he was witnessing and it was as if he was forced to see everything through new eyes, a clearer vision. Harry's new obsession with full sleeves, black color and bracelets were starting to make sense. His loss of appetite was very apparent in the sweater that used to fit him just fine a few months ago and his eyes showed Louis all the lack of sleep and increased nightmares Harry went through every night. Louis hardly ever saw Harry in color, it was like all the innocence and happiness was sucked out of the green-eyed boy, insecurities acting like his own personal dementors. Louis' mind was still processing the image of Harry, leaning on the bathtub holding on to a razor as if his life depended on it, bleeding out from his wrists, his head hung low as short, breathless sobs made way through his mouth. Louis feels frozen in place with his hands limply hanging on his sides as he takes everything in.

Harry's head snaps up at the sound of footsteps approaching him but there's nothing he's in control of anymore. He used every last ounce of his control when he pushed Louis away. He felt as if every fiber of his being was forcing him to bleed out, hurt himself because he damn well deserved it. 

"Hazz..." the sweet sound of the blue-eyed boy had Harry closing his eyes, savoring the moment because it couldn't last forever. A soft touch on Harry's cheekbones and the tears that he was trying to hold in since Louis' arrival unleash themselves. Harsh, ragged sobs shake Harry's body while Louis all but tries to hold on to him, anchoring him.

"Shhh.. Love, it's okay, it's gonna be okay, I'm right here." Louis keeps on whispering and Harry takes it all in, marks the words over his skin to remember because in his mind, this cannot last. Louis, he likes to be his own person and Harry only keeps him behind, chained to himself. 

It's all your fault.

Harry painfully bawls, letting out a sound of complete distress and irritation. Louis just holds on tighter in hopes of joining all the broken pieces together just with his hold but he knows it's gonna take a lot more than just holding Harry to fix everything. 

When Harry does calm down a little, Louis pulls away and gets up, his mind racing. Harry's heart thunders in his chest at the sudden loss of Louis' heat and when he heads towards the bathroom door, the curly boy can feel himself disintegrating piece by piece. This is it, he's leaving. You made him go away too, the voice taunts and it's absolutely painful to watch Harry, slowly fading into this shell of a human, when he used to be this beautiful ball of sunshine, flowers and expensive perfume.

Harry feels the soft hands over his shoulders that he very well knows are Louis'; immediately his eyes open to find the oceans looking back, filled with worry, and towels in his hands. Louis quickly drops to his knees in front of Harry once again and throws the razor that was still clutched in Harry's hold, taking Harry's hands in his own. As gently as he can, with his own hands shaking, Louis presses the towels to Harry's bleeding wrists.

The cries that leave Harry's mouth are gut-wrenchingly painful and Louis forces himself to take breaths, it's no surprise that he finds tears of his own falling down his cheeks. Louis caused him soo much pain that after a point, the boy started believing that he deserved it and fuck, Louis hates himself too much in the moment to even focus on it. He can see the panic written all over Harry's face and he is the reason for it all.