Once. (Larry Stylinson)

Fool's Gold

Playlist: Don't let it break your heart by Louis Tomlinson
Astronomy by Conan Grey
Good Years by Zayn
San Francisco by Niall Horan.

I want to kiss you like the first time
Hold you like it's not goodbye
I wish I hadn't been so cruel
I want to let all my defenses down
Scream until you hear me out
I'll lay it on the line for you

Louis has gotten old.

He doesn't smile the same. He doesn't joke like he used to. He doesn't love sunflowers as he did before. He's gotten old.

Louis broke apart before One Direction did and regrets every single breath he took wrong. His friendship with Zayn had seemed to have hit rock bottom when he left. Louis was deeply hurt and betrayed at what his best friend hid beneath his tough exterior and without a single word of familiarity between them, just left.
Louis deserved more than that dammit.

Zayn and Louis were high as stars in the sky without a worry, neither one wanting to say sorry. When they fell, the fall was so great that they could barely hold on to themselves, let alone the other. They were two worlds apart; the separation hurt. It was just silence one day with no sound coming out after. Just plain silence that was like a wound that could've easily been fixed by a bandage but bit by bit grew into something so big that even the world's best doctor couldn't fix it.

After Zayn left, Louis slowly started to grow distant, even towards Harry, the one person who he swore to love till his dying breath. One of the many things that losing his best friend did to him was that he distanced himself from every living breathing human who he loved dearly, may it be Harry or even his mum. In his mind, he did it so that when they left him, it wouldn't hurt as bad as Zayn leaving hurt him. He never wanted to experience such pain but then he experienced it more than once and with an intensity so high that he was suddenly lost.

He was so far gone that when he got high in that bar and went home with Beth, he was desperate to feel something except for the burning fire in his chest.

Sleeping with Beth was probably the deepest regret of his life because it hurt Harry the way Louis never wanted anyone to suffer, let alone the one person he loved dearer than his own life. Even though they were broken up before the complete Beth fiasco, even though Louis didn't cheat, he was still a traitor.
He may have a zero-tolerance capacity towards the mother of his daughter but he just couldn't bear to live without his daughter, Freya. When he thinks about it, he knows it was very stupid of him to do something so reckless as he knew it would only end with him hurting everyone.

It's all fucked up. But back then, it made sense to him.

Liam and Niall being the great friends they were, surprisingly stayed neutral throughout the fiasco and eventually became the support systems Harry and Louis needed separately. It all went to hell when his mum passed away and came to a point where Louis wouldn't acknowledge anything but his misery and maybe alcohol.

In the time, Eleanor became the very rock he needed. Being with him every step of the way, she supported him in everything. In return, all she ever asked was a friendship that no one seemed to want with her.

Things had slowly settled with time but his chest felt empty. There was a place where Harry used to be and it could never be taken by anyone who wasn't him but Louis was a coward. He never reached out but neither did Harry. And though Harry had all the right reasons to want to stay away from the blue-eyed man, Louis was too stubborn. They had broken up because apparently it had become "too much" for Harry, he couldn't keep up anymore and to save him from himself, Louis suggested that they get back to being friends, nothing more, nothing less; not until they were ready again.