Her Majesty's Baby

Chapter 8 - Levi

AN: I'm so sorry for the absence lately. I decided to take a small hiatus. My reason for publishing less frequently is because I am waiting for the manga to end since I am still convinced Yams has something planned for Historia involving her pregnancy. Not long now, but I will try and do what I can until that pivotal moment. As soon as we find out what's really going on with Hisu, my fingers will be flying over the keyboard... 

Also, if you haven't read Her Majesty's Knight, I pretty much summarize the story in this chapter. It may be a spoiler if you plan on reading it. 

Song inspired for this chapter: Goodbye My Lover by James Blunt. It's perfect for this chapter and Levi and Historia. I've added music links to all my chapters of Her Majesty's Knight and Her Majesty's Baby. I picked songs that I thought most fit the scenes of those chapters. I think I did well, but I was definitely thinking of James Blunt when I wrote this. It's one of the saddest songs ever written... 

A storm cloud gathers over the farmhouse, chasing away the glorious sunshine from the last few days, and it almost seems ironic.

I always thought that I brought rainclouds wherever I went, but now I leave them behind in my wake.

The farmhand had gone and collected Silver like I asked while Historia and I said our final goodbyes, and now I suck in a deep, trembling breath as I take the leather reins from his giant hand.

The big lug watches me for some time, concern colouring his round, dumb features. He goes to open his mouth to speak, but then thinks better of it and keeps his silence. Next, his eyes search the porch where Historia waits with the children, and I'm too afraid to look at her.

Because if I do... I know I will run straight back to her, lifting her up in my arms as I spin her around, and it will be like a scene from a fairy-tale.

But real life isn't a fairy-tale. It's a dark, miserable place where dreams and hearts are broken, and I tighten my grip on the reins, pinching my eyes tight shut.

Mustn't look at her. Must ride forth and see what old beard face wants...

It's obvious why he has summoned my presence. Historia and I aren't stupid; he wants to know about the nature of our relationship and how it will impact the military's plans for her.

The last thing they want is little old me getting in the way. After all, my place is at the Survey Corps—not by the queen's side. I shouldn't be interfering in her affairs. Not anymore.

We're nothing to each other. Or so they want to believe...

Finally, I swing my leg over Silver's saddle, casting my eyes on the horizon. All the while, I can feel her ocean blue eyes on my back, and I don't have to look at her to know what kind of face she's pulling.

I can feel her emotions, hear her thoughts...

"Why won't he look at me?"

The guilt rips me apart as I try to keep my steady gaze on that distant line where the sky meets the earth, but she must understand... It's easier this way.

As I said, if I look at her, I may not have the strength and resolve to go on. I will only want to run back and sweep her up in my arms, but in the end, it's not about me; it's about her. So I will put my own feelings aside and spare her one last glance.

We may never see each other again. Well, not in the real world. We have our Path, but you never know when war could strike. It could be next year, next month, or even next week.