Wild Magic Four: The Light Beyond Constellations- a M/M fantasy romance

2- Touch Starved

RIVER, four months later—

How did it come to this? I silently bemoaned as I stared out at the dozens of guards around me, all glaring at the man behind me, their weapons bared and their eyes heated with hatred and fierce determination. How did I let him get to me?

Griffin's thick arms tightened on my chest and neck, his right hand shifted into a claw nearly twice the size of my head. He had it poised above me, as if ready to strike me, end my life. And I wasn't even man enough, brave enough, intelligent enough to call out, tell them he'd never hurt me. That he'd sooner cut off his own prick than lay a paw on me.

Because I was his mate.

Gods, how that idea had niggled its way into my mind and taken over, until I was nothing but an idiot following his orders and now helping him escape.

And wondering if it was even the truth. Had I fallen for the most cruel, beautiful lie he could think of? Had he seen a pathetic, pining man, eager to fall in love again after losing the man I'd stupidly fallen for, knowing he'd never be mine? Had he known at first sight that I was the weakest of his guards, the one most easily tricked into giving up his life so he could escape? Was I betraying everyone I loved, everyone I respected and admired and who put up with my sorry ass, for the little promise of affection he'd given me?

"I'm sorry, River," Griffin whispered into my ear, even now the feel of his hot breath on the sensitive skin of my ear making me shudder, my entire body arching back against his touch.

Touch-starved. That's what my mama always called me. No matter how many times she hugged me, no matter how long we lay cuddled in a pile beside the fire, it wasn't enough. I wanted to pull touch inside my body, beneath my skin, and it was never enough, the barely-there glances I managed now. It wasn't as cute, a grown man begging for affection and cuddles, as it had been when I'd been a child on my mama's lap. 

"Don't bloody apologize," I hissed back at him, jerking in his grip and gasping when he tightened his hold painfully. "Just let me go!"

"Let him go, bear," Cain growled, his deep, grumbling, accented voice no longer affecting me the way it had only weeks before. Oh no, I had to go and replace him with an asshole who would use me to escape a punishment he deserved. "We'll let you go, just don't hurt him."

I flinched as Griffin snarled just near my ear. I could almost picture the way his fangs would be showing, because I could feel his fur rippling along his skin behind me and I knew he was half shifting into his bear, over and over, back and forth again. 

For weeks, I'd been one of the guards in charge of Griffin's cell. The other mercenaries that had been caught trying to kidnap the Emperor had been tried one-by-one, and sent off to their various sentences— whether it was to end their days in the mines to the north, or under the executioner's blade— but the Emperor's men were unable to find Griffin's records. They had no idea who he was, beyond a bear shifter named Griffin. They even sent envoys to Akar to try to find the man's history, but they had returned empty handed.

Without his records, they would still try him, but the Emperor wanted to ensure he had all the information he could. Some of the mercenaries caught with Griffin had been sent to other kingdoms or lands, because their evils there had been greater than here. And many of them had pasts that had impacted their sentencing, like the man who had killed a family of six in Ruleden a few years ago. He had been sentenced to death, as a threat to the life and safety of the peaceful citizens of We'ren.

I had been left all but alone to watch over Griffin, and we'd spent many hours, over the last few months, talking of everything and anything. His life in Akar, my family, my hopes and dreams, and finally my love of the man I had too slowly realized could never be mine.