Wild Magic Four: The Light Beyond Constellations- a M/M fantasy romance

4- Acceptance

GRIFFIN—

My original escape plan had hinged on tricking a guard, and I had picked River on first sight. Until I realized who he was to me. Then, I'd been reluctant to escape, knowing I would have to leave him behind and not wanting to spend the rest of my life mourning my lost mate. Even after I'd managed to steal the spell and key to the proti collar from one of the other careless guards, I'd held back for weeks just to be near my mate.

"I'm River," he'd said, his gorgeous eyes, so pure and warm, smiling as he put his hands to his hips, studying me.

He was tall but lanky, his legs long and lean, his body delicate, almost petite. His ears made me smile— they were big, too big for his other features, and stuck out slightly on either side of his head. His skin was a warm ochre, with dark brown freckles across his nose and cheeks, scattered along his hairline. One, darker and just a little bigger than the others, graced the tip of his top lip, just on the left side, and I had the immediate urge to lick it, then bite it.

Gods, how long has it been since you got laid, Griffin? I berated myself, all but rolling my eyes as the boy, no more than twenty, cocked his head as he, in turn, studied me.

I knew what he would see: taller than most men, gruff, rough around the edges, with eyes an eerie silver that made most people take a second look, then step back in discomfort. Dark brown hair that hung in locks down to my shoulders, skin darker than most, and lips that were too thin, too harsh, too firm and ungiving. I was nothing to look at, not really, but something had my bear waking up, wanting my mate to find me attractive, to want me, to...

Mate? I thought in disbelief. You're insane, bear.

But my bear ignored me, only staring out at the man who smiled at me when I finally met his eyes.

"I'm River," he repeated, his words a bit slower, his eyes amused. "And you are?"

"Griff—" I began, but my voice died. I coughed, clearing my throat and shaking my head. "Griffin. My name is Griffin."

Now, so many weeks, months, later, I ran from my mate, his words whirling through me, his eyes, so filled with distrust, hurt, betrayal, I wanted to strike the memory from my mind, but I was unable. No, that look, the way he glared at me, his lips trembling, his eyes brimming with tears even as he tried to stay strong, had my mind a whirlwind, a mess of thought, my chest an agony of pain. My mate, my sweet River. Had I lost him? Just when I'd thought I could finally have him?

"Am I really your mate?" he'd asked, his voice so unsure, so broken, so hurt, I wanted to dig myself into a hole, right then and there, and never come back out.

I'd not only made him second-guess me and himself, I'd made him think everything we'd been through, everything I'd told him and done, every touch and kiss, every time our bodies came together, our passion unable to be contained despite the bars between us, was a lie.

Was there any coming back from that?

I'd known then, in the seconds I had to reply to his biting, cold words about taking him back home, that I had two choices. I could fight for him, make him love me again. River was the kindest, gentlest, loneliest man I'd ever met. If I fought for him, if I pushed him, cajoled him, I could convince him of my good intentions when I'd escaped. I could convince him that I'd only had our future, together, in mind when I'd made the decision to betray him, just for a moment, so that we could be together forever. He would forgive me, and I'd have my mate back. I'd have the love of my life back in my arms, and we could run away together. We could travel, we could go somewhere no one knew us, and live the rest of our lives together.