Trapped In Another Body

Things Might be Looking Up

So recently I got together with the sweetest most amazing girl I've ever been with. She's been helping me through all my depression issues and things were starting to look up from there. . .until my depression decided to get worse, like it always does when I actually start to experience happiness. Now my depression has me on the edge of suicide again. . .mostly becuase, although she's the most wonderful, most amazing girlfriend I've ever had, she lives all the way in England so we only get to see each other when we video chat over Oovoo.

For a few months, long before we even got together, she's been helping me try to see the brighter sides of things and be a more positive person. She would wake me up every morning with the same text saying, "You are wonderful and loved very much beautiful and life will improve." That was actually starting to work too, but recently she's been feeling ill or tired or who knows what happens and she forgets to send it at all, those are the days that my depression spikes. . .those are the days in which my four knives sitting in my room come together as one', as a scope of some kind that I use to stare Death in the eye, waiting for the time to come. . .it never does.

Onto a better, happier topic, Rachael (my girlfriend) has been helping my depression so much that I'm honestly shocked that she hasn't left me yet over the fact that I have so many mental issues. She's the sweetest most amazing girlfriend I've ever had and I'm so grateful that I have the chance to be with someone who's that far out of my league. She deserves far better than me, yet chooses to stay. I know that I'm being really repetitive with what I'm saying about how amazing she is, but that's simply because words can't describe just how sweet and kind and smart and funny and. . .just damn near perfect she is, if she's not past the point of perfection.

Well that's all for now I guess, I don't want to sound too repetitive and get annoying. Goodbyebyez everybody, hopefully things really are starting to look up for me.