Living Death

- chapter thirty two

You pulled on some Deatheater looking attire courtesy of Narcissa's extensive collection of clothing, letting out a gentle sigh as you watched yourself in the mirror. She had insisted on making an occasion of your initiation, but whether that was out of genuine excitement or an attempt to make something of a bad situation was uncertain.

The black velvet of one of her slim-fit long-sleeved gowns clung to you, the material was uncomfortable and something you weren't used to wearing and you certainly didn't plan on getting used to it. This wasn't you. The only thing that reminded you of yourself was your snake pendant lying against your skin.

You had to remind yourself this was all an act, nothing more, as you locked eyes with the unfamiliar stranger that stared blankly back at you in the mirror.

The chime of a clock echoed through Draco's otherwise silent room and you knew it was time. The Manor was dark and empty today despite it being the middle of the day, even the portraits fell quiet and motionless, sensing the subdued mood.

A shiver ran down your spine as you tried to ignore the dread that overcame you. There was no way out.

Most of the Deatheaters including The Dark Lord himself were occupied with finding muggle-borns lately, threatening various individuals or killing them in cold blood trying to track down the one and only Harry Potter.

Just last night you heard Ollivander being thrown into the dungeons along with Luna Lovegood but you were just thankful they were alive at the very least and hoped their imprisonment meant Harry was still out there somewhere.

Bellatrix, Draco, and his parents had insisted on staying to guard the Manor as well as vowing to carry out your initiation. It was a feeble attempt to control the situation but it was all they could do given the circumstances, at least committing to the mark would help you gain Voldemort's trust and perhaps the faith of his devoted followers enough to survive all this.

If you could somehow get assigned to guarding the basement you could free Luna and Ollivander, but you hadn't quite worked out how you'd handle the aftermath yet.

You stepped out of the bedroom and began to walk down the hallway with determination, your fists desperately clenched by your side.

Snape had informed you he wouldn't be there, he was still headmaster after all and gone were the days of his protection, you were expected to look after yourself now as well as protecting the lives of everyone else involved whether you liked it or not.

You avoided looking out to the grounds of the Manor through the passing windows, knowing it would take everything within you not to flee the scene.

The drawing room was vast without the long ornate table that usually graced it and even darker than the rest of the Manor. Draco couldn't bring himself to stay with you as you got ready when he knew he'd have to brand you with the mark later, opting to join the rest of his family in wait for you.

He looked up at you regretfully as you entered the room, his gaze tired and sullen-looking as Lucius held the back of his neck firm. Part of him hoped you wouldn't show up but he knew all your options had been exhausted.

"Draco.." Lucius spat out in a harsh and hushed tone directly beside his ear, almost causing him to flinch "If we fail him again.."

You felt Narcissa's delicate arm hook with yours, and you weren't quite sure if she was attempting to hold you back or reminding herself to stay out of it. You knew she was equally, if not more, protective of Draco than you, but her love for Lucius was unconditional.

You froze suddenly, distracted from Lucius as you swore you saw movement by the stairs leading down to the entrance of the manor, Narcissa followed your gaze but you spoke before she properly got a look. "I'm ready.. Let's get this over with" You announced to grab her attention.