Living Death

- chapter thirty three

The sea air rushed into your lungs suddenly as your back hit the grainy sand with a hard thud, causing you to gasp and cough as you sat up partially in shock. You didn't enjoy apparating, rarely using it as a form of transport but you hadn't had the luxury of choice, it was your only way out of there and you had been pulled into it with little to no warning.

You sat up slowly, panting and blinking rapidly as you took in your surroundings, your eyes gradually adjusting to the bright of the outside. You noticed Harry and the others further down the beach you had landed on and watched him rush over to check they were all okay. You spotted Dobby for an instant but he disapparated with a click of his fingers almost as quickly as you'd focused your eyes on him.

"Ron.. Hermione.. It's okay we're safe" Harry stumbled over to them, checking they had arrived safely. Hermione crouched over in discomfort after her confrontation with Bellatrix and Ron was rubbing her back slowly. "Dobby rescued Luna- and Ollivander before getting to us- They were imprisoned in the Manor"

"Imprisoned?" Ron's eyes widened and Hermione coughed a little more, clutching her stomach as she remained on all fours on the sand.

You couldn't hear them from where you were and attempted to stand up, pushing yourself up off the wet sand but your arm collapsed under your weight. You winced in excruciating pain and clutched your arm to your chest as your back hit the sand once more. A stray shard of glass must have buried itself into your arm from the fallen chandelier. You let out a shallow breath and tried to get up again slowly, the pain growing ever worse as you finally got your bearings and knelt on the sand, your eyes finally adjusting to the light as you absorbed the sight beneath the skin of your forearm.

"I think Voldemort was using the Manor as some sort of headquarters or prison" Harry helped Hermione sit up and she leant against Ron for support, trying to catch her breath, falling in and out of consciousness from her ordeal.

"We need to get her inside" Ron held her securely, pushing her hair back from her face, his eyes clouded with a deep worry, Harry nodding and tilting his head to examine a cut on her neck.

"Harry.." You called out, your voice cracking "Harry.. I'm so sorry"

All three of them looked up and over to you despite Hermione's situation, and Harry squinted to try and see you better, barely hearing you but sensing some kind of distress. You could see them vaguely out of your peripheral but your eyes were trained on your arm as you clutched it in front of you, your vision beginning to blur. Lucius' grin made sense now.

"I thought I got out in time.." You let out an almighty cry and looked up across the sand.

Harry stood up hesitantly as his eyes focused on you, staggering closer across the damp shore, his pace beginning to quicken as he came to terms with what had happened. "No.. Y/N.. No, you got out of there." He shook his head as he stumbled across the coast, hoping his eyes were deceiving him, mumbling under his breath repeatedly in disbelief.

"I didn't get out in time.." Your voice was only just above a whisper and faded out into silence. Hot tears were rolling down your cheeks and you rubbed at the mark. It was dark and snake like, slithering painfully beneath your skin, practically mocking you. The rubbing didn't help, it made it burn even more but you didn't care, nothing could be worse.

You let out a sharp gasp in shock as it truly hit you once Harry put his arm around you, his other hand slipping under your arm to examine the mark himself, his eyes dark as the horrific skull of the mark stared back at him.

"Hermione- Come on- There has to be something in your bag- Something that can help us" Harry begged desperately, his voice travelling down the beach, but Hermione shook her head a little in defeat, leaning into Ron for support, her eyes only barely open. You didn't need an explanation, it didn't take a model student like Hermione to know the Dark Mark was permanent.

"I didn't want this.. I never wanted this" You shook your head furiously, trying to scratch it out of your skin but Harry grabbed your hands to try and stop your self-destructive behaviour. Visibly collapsing into yourself, you sobbed with deep anguish, feeling bile burn the back of your throat as you swallowed the terrible truth.

"I hate him. I hate him." You wept, your pained scream audible above the crashing waves. The whole reason for your escape was to avoid this fate, and Draco wasn't even there to comfort you, he probably wasn't even aware that you had been given the mark yet.

Hermione passed out suddenly, hitting the sand with a thud and you both looked up across to her, about to get up to help but Ron was already carrying her inside, shouting out as he reassured Harry he had control of the situation. You noticed Harry looked across at her with a sadness behind his eyes, as though he blamed himself for her condition.

"Go.. I'll be okay, check on Hermione" You nodded firmly, you didn't want him going out of his way for you when you were capable of looking after yourself.

"She'll be alright, Ron's got her and the others are inside to help them out" He looked back to you but his gaze fell to your forearm once again.

"Others?"

"You'll see"

The sea air was bitterly cold, making the raw mark burn more intensely, the hairs on your arms standing up a little as the wet sand scratched at your bare legs like some harsh exfoliant. It seemed like an eternity until your tears were used up but you stayed slouched against Harry who gazed sadly across the horizon, a comfortable silence shared. He never anticipated this would happen, he'd thought they'd get there after your initiation or with time to spare, and despite the fact you weren't particularly close, he felt sorry for you.

You let out a shaken sigh, rubbing your eyes and slowly stood up, brushing off the sand from your legs and the material of your dress but it seemed to cling to the velvet the more you tried to push it off.

"It's okay Harry.. I'll have to live with this.. I can't do much else" Your voice broke the silence as Harry stood in front of you, an awkwardness to you both as he stared at you.

"I'm sorry Y/N, We only recently worked out what-"

"Oh don't worry about it, I didn't even anticipate a rescue mission" You laughed awkwardly and chewed your lip to try and hold back any further tears, trying to stay strong "I've always been on your side really.. Lucius did what he had to do to protect me, I had no other option and it was ridiculous of me to think this would be a way out"

Harry looked at you sadly and realised you were trying to hold back your tears, your lower lip quivering as you tried to smile. He moved his arm over your shoulder carefully and before you could keep it together any longer, he pulled you into a hug. Leaning into him, you let his hug comfort you, appreciating his acceptance and willingness to try and comfort you but he wasn't Draco. It was hard to stop your tears without Draco being there to tell you to get a hold of yourself, and imagining him made you miss him even more. You tried to think of the good, anything to try and calm yourself. You didn't have to live in fear of being killed anymore, you were now considered a valuable asset to Voldemort and despite the fact you felt alone without Draco, you weren't actually alone. It was comforting to know someone beyond Draco cared enough to rescue you even though Harry didn't know the whole story.

"We should join the others inside" Harry's muffled voice broke your thoughts and you felt him rub your back gently. You nodded in agreement and slowly pulled back from his chest, rubbing your eyes with your sleeve as he looked at you for a moment, a slightly sheepish redness to his cheek as he tried not to think too much about the rather awkward hug he'd just given you.