Territorial Men 9: Carter Altaraza

CHAPTER 7

CHAPTER SEVEN

EVERYTHING is in mess. The reality in front of him brought him back to those traumatic events of his life in the middle of the war. It was so hard to stop his mind to remember those scenarios, it was stuck in the depth of his head.
 
Animo nagtago lang ng ilang taon sa ilalim ng kanyang isipan ang mga kaganapan na ‘yon at sa mga sandaling ‘yon ay bumalik ng wala man lang pahintulot niya.
 
Carter stays rooted while everything inside his head is in chaos.
 
He was like that for a couple of minutes, he closed his eyes tightly to really bring himself back to reality. Kahit mahirap na labanan ang matinding takot at pagkabahala, alam niyang kaya niya kapag pinilit niya ang sarili.
 
Carter let out a breath and when he opened his eyes, he witnessed how Colton, their men, and the medical team tries to give Keith first aid.
 
Mabilis siyang lumapit sa mga ito, hindi na alintana ang mga tama sa katawan. He can endure the physical pain because he was used to it.
 
Keith is still breathing, he’s still alive. Sa malapitan ay mas nakita niya ang pamumutla ng mga labi nito, pilit na iminumulat ang mga mata ngunit saglit lang ay pipikit ulit.
 
“Brute!” Tawag niya rito at mas lalo pang lumapit.
 
Keith tried hard to open his eyes just to see him but didn’t mutter any words.
 
“Gusto mo ako na ang mag tanggal ng bala? Magaling ako dyan,” aniya. Pabiro, sabay marahan na tapik sa binti nito na tila hindi ito binibigyan ng pahintulot na hayaan ang sarili na malugmok sa dilim.
 
Nanghihina lang itong umiling, nakuha pang i-angat ang sulok ng labi na kulang nalang ay sabihin na ‘No thanks, Altaraza’.
 
“Sir, kailangan niyo na rin madala sa hospital.” Pukaw sa kanya ng isang tauhan nila, sabay turo sa kanyang tagiliran na patuloy ang pagdurugo.
 
“I’m fine,” Carter said and went back his attention to Keith.
 
Muli niyang tinapik ang binti ng kaibigan nang makitang kanina pa ito nakapikit. Alam niyang kailangan nitong magpahinga pero natatakot siya sa ideya na hindi na nito ididilat ang mga mata kapag hinayaan niyang nakapikit lang!
 
Marami na siyang karanasan na pipikit lang daw ang mga sundalong sugatan na nakasama niya sa giyera pero hindi na kailanman dumilat. He don’t want to happen that to this brute.
 
His anxiety of seeing someone slowly dying in front of him is really taking over him, he just doesn’t want to accept that fact…but he is really scared it would happen again that night.
 
Keith managed to let out a small groan because of what he did. Alam niya na nakukulitan na ito sa kanya, hindi lang makagalaw dahil sa tama sa dibdib.
 
The medical team is very careful in their every moves just to stop the blood to come out from Keith’s chest.
 
“Kuya, mauna ka na sa hospital. Kailangan ng maalis ang bala dyan sa tiyan mo.” Si Colton na nag-aalala rin sa lagay niya.
 
“Hindi ko ‘to ikamamatay, Colton. I’ll be fine.”
 
“Pero maaari mong ikamatay kapag naubusan ka ng dugo.”
 
When Carter looked down on his stomach, he saw that the blood is also coming out. Ramdam niya ang sakit pero hindi niya magawang indahin ‘yon. Ang buong atensyon niya ay wala sa mga sugat niya, kundi, na kay Keith lang.
 
“Sir.” One of their men approached him, asking him to go with them to the hospital.
 
Muli ay marahan niyang tinapik ulit si Keith sa binti.
 
“What the fuck…Altaraza.” he heard Keith’s weak and annoying voice.
 
Doon ay medyo nakaramdam si Cartet ng kaginhawaan. The brute is still responding and he’s conscious. He’ll be fine.
 
“I am just making sure if you’re not sleeping, Tuazon. ‘wag kang matutulog, hindi kita mababantayan. Kailangan kong umalis.”
 
Naaalala niya na kapag nasa trabaho sila ni Keith, nagbabantayan sila sa pagtulog. Ngunit sa mga sandaling ‘yon, hindi muna mangyayari ang bantayan dahil kailangan niya rin asikasuhin ang sarili kung gusto niya pang mabuhay.
 
Keith just weakly shook his head, telling him to fuck off and move his ass out from there.
 
When the medical team made sure that Keith’s already safe to carry and bring to the hospital, they started to move.
 
That’s when Carter left because he knew that the brute is now safe on his way to the hospital.
 
Kung hindi sa dibdib ang tama, alam niyang kahit hindi na magpunta sa hospital ay kaya nilang maalis ang bala ng sila lang. Ngunit, sa kasamaang palad, sa dibdib tinamaan ang kaibigan at hin’di basta-basta pwedeng alisin ang bala na nakabaon doon.
 
Inside the van, Carter groaned when he finally felt the pain on some part of his body, especially those wounds on his stomach. Doon niya lang tuluyang naramdaman ang bawat sakit na natamo niya sa gabing ‘yon.
 
“Bring me to Banchero’s clinic,” he ordered.
 
Binigyan siya ng paunang lunas habang binabaybay nila ang daan papunta sa clinic. Kahit papano ay kumalma ang paglabas ng dugo sa kanyang mga sugat sa bandang tagiliran ng tiyan.
 
They are on their way to the clinic when one of their men informed him about Keith.
 
“Wala na raw malay si Boss nang isakay sa sasakyan kanina.”
 
Carter could still remember Keith’s face. Alam niyang kailangan lang nito ng pahinga at sigurado siyang malalampasan nito ang bala na ‘yon.
 
“Hindi pa rin daw maampat ang pagdurugo dahil sa tama sa dibdib.” Dagdag pa nito.
 
Carter suddenly felt guilty.
 
If he didn’t accept Keith’s bulletproof vest, this won’t happen, right? Keith will survive the bullet that hit his chest.
 
And if he only wears his own vest, Keith won’t give him his! He’s so fucking careless and he’s very irresponsible! What the hell is happening to him?!
 
When they arrived in Banchero’s clinic, they needed to break the lock because it’s closed. Dr. Howell Banchero wasn’t there, he’s probably in BMC to help Keith.
 
Tinulungan siya ng dalawang tauhan sa pag-alis ng bala kahit kaya niya naman ‘yon mag-isa. They put an anesthesia on him and they started removing the bullet inside his stomach. Wala na siyang iba pang maramdaman, manhid na manhid ang katawan niya.
 
Sa kalagitnaan ng pag-gamot sa sarili ay lumilipad ang isip niya kay Keith. Hindi niya matanggap na nawalan na ito ng malay. Nakita niya kung saan tumama ang bala at malapit ‘yon sa puso, delikado ‘yon, alam niya ‘yon.
 
Carter sighed in relief when they finally got the bullet. They were quick to leave the clinic to go to the hospital. Ang isang tauhan nila ay binigyan siya ng malinis na damit habang papunta sila sa hospital.
 
Mabilis siyang bumaba sa van nang makarating sila sa BMC. The fact that his friends didn’t dare to contact him while he was in the clinic made him feel like something is up.
 
Binaybay ni Carter ang tahimik na hallway papunta sa operating room.
 
Sa dulo ay natanaw niya na ang mga kaibigan. Nakayuko ang iba, ang iba ay bagsak ang balikat. That is the kind of scenario that he didn’t expect. And the fact that Howell Banchero is already with them, told him that the operation is done.
 
Then why the fuck this brute looks like they are fucking mourning?!
 
Carter’s heart beat so fast because he don’t want what he was seeing. Binilisan niya ang paglalakad hanggang sa makarating sa mga ito. Sapo ang tiyan dahil sa pagkirot ng sugat doon.
 
“How’s the brute?” he asked, trying to make his voice cool.
 
Wala siyang natanggap na sagot sa kahit na kanino kaya mas lalong umigting ang kagustuhan niyang malaman kung ano na ba ang nangyayari at parang mga namatayan ang mga tarantado!
 
“How’s the operation, Banchero?” this time his attention is with Howell.
 
The brute only glance at him then moved his eyes to the closed door of the operating room near him.
 
“Hindi pa rin tapos?” Medyo natawa siya at nabuhayan ng loob dahil alam niyang patuloy pa rin ang pag-alis ng bala sa dibdib ni Keith. “Sabi ko sa kanya ako nalang ang mag aalis ng bala sa dibdib niya. Magaling ako ro’n.”
 
Nang sinabi niya ‘yon ay wala pa rin imik ang mga kaibigan. Doon ay unti-unti niyang nararamdaman na may mali…may hindi siya alam.
 
“Tang ina niyo magsalita kayo! Nasaan si Keith? Mag-s-sparring pa kami. Colton,” sabay baling niya sa nakababatang kapatid at tapik sa balikat nito. “Talo sa pustahan si gago. Tara, singilin mo na si Keith.”
 
But Colton remains silent. It annoys him because their silence gives him the impression that something bad happened to Keith. But Carter didn’t lose hope, he’s hoping that his friends are just pranking him.
 
“Pwede na bang pumasok?” Tanong niya kay Howell.
 
At nang hindi siya nito sinagot at ni isa ay walang nag tangka na sagutin siya. Doon ay naramdaman niya ang hindi magandang balita. Kakaiba ang sakit sa kanyang puso, parang dinudurog ‘yon.
 
He can’t accept that Keith Tuazon wasn’t able to survive.
 
He can’t accept that the brute allowed himself to finally rest.
 
He can’t accept that Keith left them.
 
Sa pinaghalong galit at sakit ay malakas niyang sinuntok ang pader. Pilit na ibinuhos doon ang lahat-lahat ng pagsisisi, sakit at galit para sa sarili.
 
“Sana hindi nalang ako umalis…sana sinamahan ko nalang siya hanggang dito.”
 
Pwede naman ‘yon, ‘di ba? Pwede naman na nananatili siya doon? Na nananatili siya sa tabi ng kaibigan sa mga oras na alam niyang kailangan nito ng masasandalan?
 
But knowing Keith, he will never depend on someone. He’s very independent and he always chooses to do things on his own no matter how hard it was or no matter how painful it would give him.
 
Mas nararamdaman pa ni Carter ang sakit ng puso niya kesa sa matinding pagkirot ng sugat niya sa tiyan.
 
When Yane arrived, and when she started crying, that’s when Carter really prove that Howell and his friends weren’t joking around.
 
Keith really…left them.
 
“Akala ko ba hindi ka mang-iiwan…” mahinang sambit niya sa basag-basag na boses.
 
Carter wiped his tears angrily.
 
Nakaupo sa isang sulok, tahimik na dinama niya ang sakit nang mawalan ng isang kaibigan…ng isang taong tinuring mong kapatid.
 
It was so sudden, it felt like it didn’t sink in yet or maybe his mind just don’t want to accept the fact that Keith left him just like that.
 
To confirm that Keith is really dead, he and his friends went inside the operating room.
 
Ang hirap-hirap tignan ang kaibigan niya na nakahiga, nakapikit ang mga mata at walang kulay ang labi habang iyak nang iyak si Yane, yakap yakap ito at nagmamakaawa na gumising ang kapatid.
 
“K-kuya! Kuya! Please! H-huwag mo na akong iwan! P-parang awa mo na! K-kuya! Sabi mo b-babalik ka! Nangako ka p-pa nga kanina, ‘di ba?! H-hinintay kita, K-kuya! Nandito na a-ako, p-arang awa mo n-na, g-gumising k-ka, p-please! N-nagpromise k-ka! K-
kuya! Nagpromise ka!”
 
Yane was crying so hard. She’s hysterically waking up Keith. She’s looks like a mess ang looks like she’s lost. Watching her begging for Keith to open his eyes is like a silent torture. Sa huli, nawalan ito ng malay at kinailangan alisin doon ng iba niyang kaibigan.
 
Carter’s heart is tearing apart and he never felt so broken his whole life, until that moment came. He can’t compare the pain to any other pain that he have felt before. Hindi niya alam kung paano ilalabas lahat ng sakit nang hindi nagiging bayolente at hindi nagmumukhang nababaliw na.
 
Even Howell Banchero can’t accept that he wasn’t able to save Keith. Lahat ng kaibigan niya ay nagluluksa. Ramdam niya na halos pareho sila ni Howell na sinisisi ang sarili sa pagkawala ng kaibigan.
 
That fucking bullet proof vest saved his life, but it didn’t save Keith’s life! Putang ina! Sa lahat, siya siguro talaga ang walang kwentang kaibigan!
 
Sana siya nalang…sana siya nalang ‘yung tinamaan ng bala ng baril. Sana siya nalang itong nawala dahil…sa kanilang dalawa ni Keith, mas deserve niya ‘yung bala sa totoo lang.
 
“I said, I will stay here! B-baka nagkamali lang ako. Susubukan ko ulit.” Howell tried another attempt to revive Keith.
 
“Alam kong mahirap tanggapin, pero tang ina naman Banchero, huwag na tayong magpanggap dito!” It was Zyron, his eyes were red.
 
Naikuyom ni Carter ang kamao, katulad ni Howell ay handa siyang gawin ang lahat para maibalik lang ang buhay ni Keith kahit na magmukha na silang nasisiraan ng ulo doon!
 
“May tiwala ako sa ‘yo. Alam ko kaya mo ‘yan.” Udyok niya sa kaibigang doktor. “Sige na brute, subukan mo ulit baka kulang lang sa gising si Keith. Kung ayaw mo, bubugbugin ko ‘yan magising lang.” Natawa siya ngunit nabasag ‘yon, ramdam niya ang pagkabasag hanggang sa loob ng kanyang dibdib. “Putang ina bakit ganito! Tang ina mo Tuazon, mas masakit pa sa heartbreak itong ginawa mo sa amin! Itong pang-iiwan mo. Akala ko ba magsusuntukan pa tayo! Madaya ka!
 
Carter didn’t give a damn even if his friends witness how broke he is and how his tears pooled his eyes. He covered his eyes with his jacket while the pain is torturing him inside.
 
Even in Keith’s eulogy, Carter can’t still accept that he’s there, speaking about his memories with Keith. Hindi niya sana ‘yon gagawin dahil hindi niya kaya…hindi niya kaya na gunitain ang mga ala-alang iniwan sa kanya ni Keith.
 
But to honor Keith Tuazon, he doesn’t have a choice but to torture himself and remembering his memories with him, a friend who treated him like a real brother and he did the same.
 
Carter paused in the middle of his speech because his heart is really tearing apart inside his chest.
 
“…you brute, why did you have to leave us, huh? Ako itong may gusto ng bala, bakit ikaw ang sumalo?! Hindi kita sinisisi, pero pangako ko sa ‘yo na hindi kami titigil hanggat hindi sumusuka ng dugo ang putang inang may gawa nito sa ‘yo.”
 
Huminto siya ulit dahil talagang nahihirapan siyang tapusin ang mga sinasabi nang hindi lumalabas ang totoong emosyon niya.
 
He grip on the mic, his friends were silently watching and listening to him. He knew that all of them there are hurting so bad.
 
“…Mahal kita pero pasensya ka na dahil nahihirapan pa akong palayain ka. Hayaan mo, pipilitin ko. Miss ko na ‘yung mga suntok mo sa ‘kin.”
 
Natawa siya ngunit nabasag lang ‘yon.
 
It’s so hard for him to lose a brother like Keith Tuazon.
 
Remembering their memories together gives him happiness and at the same time, it gives him so much pain because…he knew that spending a damn time with Keith will never happen again.