Kaylor: The Timeline

Chapter 6

March 2014

Taylor wakes up slowly, not fully registering her current situation right away. The first thing she is aware of is lying comfortably on top of Karlie, which is closer than usual, but not completely surprising. The blonde turns her head towards the wall-sized picture window at the opposite end of the bedroom, and sees the ocean is warmly glowing, hinting that the sun may have just risen. Taylor figures she has just woken up because of the dryness of her throat from the alcohol she consumed the previous night.

It is then that everything comes flooding back into her memory. Although blurry, she remembers crying, going to the beach, and kissing Karlie. Her heart begins to race, she needs to get off of Karlie. There could not be anything more embarrassing or awkward than this, how could this even happen? She is so torn, because she is absolutely dreading having to face the younger girl after their night, but she doesn't think she can stand being on top of her for a single second. She moves as gently as she can, but it really wasn't possible for her to move without awakening the model.

Karlie's eyes open, and the first thing they set their sights on are Taylor's blue eyes. They pause for a moment, staring at each other. Taylor turns a light shade of pink, and finishes removing herself from Karlie.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up. I'm just so thirsty, I will take the first shower so you can go back to sleep," Taylor says, not looking at her friend, as she gets out of the bed and grabs a water bottle from the mini bar in their room and heads into the master bathroom. She doesn't look at Karlie once, afraid to see what her face will hold.

She closes and locks the door, sits on the side of the bathtub and puts her head in her hands. She closes her eyes, and isn't sure if she is willing every memory from last night to return to her or leave her. Specific moments and feelings of last night then strike her, instead of just the general events.

What was I thinking? Taylor asks herself. The most important thing right now was her friendship with Karlie, and she is sure that her friendship must be in jeopardy now, just out of the awkwardness of the situation. But what even is the situation?

She flashes back to admitting having confusing feelings for Karlie, and Karlie expressing similar sentiments. But what confusing feelings? Taylor isn't even sure what she meant at the time, and cringes when she recalls the old saying "Drunk words are sober thoughts." Both of the girls admitted things that Taylor wish they could both take back. She wishes she didn't say what she said to Karlie, and she wishes even more that Karlie didn't reply the way she did.

Taylor had been so sure last night that Karlie had rested her lips on her neck, but now, with sober judgment, she isn't so sure. It had been so light, barely there. She may have been falling asleep, not even paying attention to her position. But Taylor had been paying attention, she felt safe and secure as Karlie curved her upper and lower body to the shape of Taylor, encasing her in warmth. She was struck with overwhelming feelings of affection, admiration, gratitude, and love for the girl lying next to her. It filled her up all at once, she had felt so light as her heart swelled, and then she had been so sure lips were grazing her neck. Her heart skipped and she was drunk, she went for it.

I initiated it. Why did I even care if her lips were on me? Taylor thinks to herself, feeling even more regret. She would never get over her actions if it meant her friendship with Karlie would be different.

I've been lonely, there is nothing else to it. I haven't spent so much time with a singular person in so long, I just got attached to Karlie quick. The alcohol made me act stupid, I wasn't in my right mind. She was attracted to men, she knew that for a fact. Nothing would make her question that. And she knew she wasn't attracted to women, never have been and never will.