Trails of Secrets

37. Weeks

The metal forks scraped against the dinner plates. Liam and Annalise were having their daily dinner together. It was a little odd, spending so much time with just Annalise, but Liam didn't mind. Even though his older brother was always giving him a hard time about it. 

So far, there hadn't been much conversation. 

Just silence. 

"So. What's new?" Liam tried breaking the silence. 

Annalise finished chewing while she thought about her day. 

"Steve was selling peanut butter ice cream today."

"I thought that he always had that."

"Nope. He usually sells peanut butter cup ice cream. There is a huge difference. Trust me."

More silence. 

"I wore my red shirt again. Thought that I would try to get back into habit."

"Good. Good. That's good," Annalise commented. 

Silence.

...

...

...

"That's it!"

Annalise stopped eating and stared at Liam, surprised. 

Liam was having a hard time breathing, as if he had been holding his breath for too long. "I can't take any more of it!"

"Any more of what?" Annalise asked, confused.

"This! Pretending everything is ok. Pretending that Phin is in the past. Letting it all go. Letting her go. I can't do it. Every night for the past few weeks I've thought about where she is and what she might be doing. I'm always worried about her getting into trouble. I always feel like she's in danger and I can't do anything to stop it. I'm done waiting around for my life to get back to normal. Cause it never will. You girls flipped it upside-down and now there's no going back for me." Liam stood up from the table in Annalise's kitchen and walked into the living room. 

Annalise was startled and surprised. She didn't know that he felt that way. And even though she wouldn't admit it, she felt almost the exact same way. 

Almost. 

"Liam! Wait!" She hurried into the living room where he was waiting. "Ok, I get it. You are sick of this. So? What are you going to do about it? Go back? After all this time? It's been three weeks. Who knows where she is now."

"Then I will find her."

"Liam, it's not that easy."

"You think I don't know that?" Liam asked. "You think I don't know that it will be hard to find her and that I might not find her? I don't care. I'm going to try. Cause I'm tired of living without knowing if she is ok." 

Annalise looked down at her feet.

"I know what you mean."

He felt somewhat relieved all the sudden. "So you'll go with me?"

She looked up from the floor. "No."

Liam's face fell. "What? Why?"

"Just like you, I can't stand not knowing where she is and if she is ok. But I need to let her go. It's the only thing I can do. I have to let them go. I just- I just have to-"

Liam sat on her couch and Annalise followed. "You aren't talking about Phin, are you?" he asked.

Annalise immediately felt tears pool into her eyes.