The Second Choice: The Selection Series

Red Head

The next month goes by in a daze. I just sign whatever papers are put in front of me and eat when I'm given food. America's been taking care of me. The only time I really feel anything is with her, when we're laying in bed together and when she gives me soft kisses. It brings me back a bit. We haven't really talked about what happened. I don't know how or when. It still feels unreal but all so real at the same time. I keep hoping she'll bring it up. I think she's hoping the same from me.
I haven't made a statement to the public yet, and I technically haven't been crowned. I get off bedrest today, so a statement will be made and I'll be crowned in a week with America.
Later today we're going to find out the baby's gender so that we can announce that too, hoping it'll bring a little positivity in this dark time.
I look over at America as she comes out of the bathroom. She has her beautiful hair up in a wet bun. She has her robe tied under her subtle baby bump and it brings a little joy to my heart.
She smiles at me. "Good morning sleepy head. Ready to eat?"
I nod.
"Alright. Let me change and I'll go get us some food. I was thinking when we're done we could go down to the garden for a bit too. We can sit in the grass. How does that sound?"
"That sounds nice."
"Alright honey."
She gets changed and heads out.
The garden. I haven't been there in awhile and I'm honestly not sure that I want to go. But it'll make America happy, so I'll go.

"This will be a nice spot," America decides. She lays our blanket out under a tree and smiles at me.
I smile a bit and nod.
She helps me sit and get comfortable before sitting with me.
She gives me a kiss on the cheek and I look at her.
"How are you feeling?" she asks.
"Fine. The wound is much better."
"That's not what I meant, love."
"Oh, I....not great."
She looks at my worried. "Why?"
I look away. "I can't believe they're gone. Everything's just so....different. So wrong."
"I don't know if wrong is the right word."
"It is."
She looks away from me and we're quiet.
"We don't have to talk about it, Maxon," she says quietly.
"I want to. I've wanted to for so long."
"Oh Maxon. Why didn't you tell me?"
"I didn't know how."
She hugs me and I hug her back. I close my eyes, and when they open I see a purple butterfly flutter close to us, with all of the elegance and beauty my mother had. I watch it land on a tulip and start crying.
America holds me and rubs my back.
When I've calmed down she moves back and holds my hands.
She gives me a soft kiss on the lips. "I know it must hurt, Maxon. I know exactly how it feels. But I'm here for our. Our baby is here for you. You aren't alone and you never will be. I promise you that, ok?"
I nod and she wipes my eyes gently.
"You can talk to me about it as much as you need. I'll gladly listen and help the best I can."
"I love you, America."
"I love you too."
She listens for awhile as I talk about all of the things that have been bothering me. It feels so good to get it all out, and we decide to bring the mood up by finding out the gender of the baby.
We make our way to the infirmary and go with the doctor to get set up. I'm sitting by her, holding her hand when the doctor breaks the news to us.