F**k You

Hope 2

Two months. 

Two months in and I feel like running. 

What is wrong with me? 

I knew before we moved the things they do, the way they are, I love all of them, I love Yoongi, I love my moments with them. 

I hate the loneliness. 

I hate wasting my days away in the oversized empty house by myself while they handle business and I just sit there. We even have a cleaning service, so every time I even decide to tidy up, it's already done. 

After being alone for so long, busting my ass working overtime and working my fingers down to the bone for just a one bedroom apartment, how am I supposed to adapt to this new life of luxury and boredom? 

I don't mean to sound ungrateful. 

I should be happy I don't even have to lift a finger, but I also hate the solitude. And Yoongi doesn't help much. I understand that for the first few weeks after they had saved me from Tod I wasn't ready to have sex again, but when did we hit the point that he had stopped trying? He didn't ask. He didn't give me more than a peck or a hug and I was itching for him to touch me, but every time I worked up the nerve to tell him he was asleep, or out on a job. I hate it. 

I even offered to start helping with the business, that was immediately shut down by Gia. I should have known my 'mom' would interfere. I don't even get a proper chance to see her anymore, they're all safer here, but they're also a lot busier too. And if I want to leave the house? 

I have to ask permission. 

I need to ask Yoongi, and he always says yes, he isn't controlling or being an asshole, it's for safety purposes, I get that. But aren't three bodyguards and a driver just a bit much? 

I think it is. 

But the last thing I want to do is argue, especially when I feel like my mental health and my relationship with Yoongi is basically dangling on a tight rope made of dental floss. 

Not even the really good mint kind either. 

The cheaper wannabe mint dental floss, that's what my health and relationship dangle on. Christ, that's comforting. 

"What are you moping around for?" Jungkook asked with an attitude as he walked into the kitchen, I was sitting at the table staring into my cold cup of coffee and thinking about my life and what my next step should be 

"I'm bored" I shrugged "I'm running out of things to do while you guys are gone" 

"It'll calm down soon, it's only this busy because we were gone for so long" he shrugged before downing a bottle of water 

"Kookie?" 

"Hmm?" He threw the bottle away 

"Can we go out? Like the mall? Or lunch or something?"

"What makes you think I want to hang out with your annoying ass?" He scoffed 

"I can be more annoying if you say no" I smiled 

"No" he turned around so I jumped on his back like a spider monkey clinging to his chest and waist 

"Koooooookie pleeeeeeeeaaaaasssssseeeeee I loooooooove youuuuuuuuuuuuu" I sang in his ear 

"Get off of me!" He failed around but I held on tighter 

"Kookie! Please! I'm so bored I'm gonna die!"

"Then die already!" 

"You're so mean!" I started to pretend sob in his ear as he started laughing and playfully trying to get me off his back