F**k You

Tired

When I woke up I sat on the edge of our bed by myself in my lingerie feeling like shit. 

Adapting to all of this was a lot harder than I expected it to be. I thought once we got to Seoul everything would be fine. I thought we would be safe, have some normalcy, Yoongi and I would flourish, I would be able to live a normal life with my man and my family by my side. 

I didn't expect it to be this way. 

I didn't think I would let them down. Again. 

I'm an idiot. 

The door opened and Yoongi walked in slowly before shutting the door behind himself. 

"It's been taken care of" 

"Okay" my eyes watered, I had just spent an entire day with the two of them, I thought we were friends. I didn't know they wanted to kill me, and now they're both gone. 

"When we started this, I told you to do what I say, when I say it, no questions asked. You agreed to follow the rules I had set in place to keep everyone safe. I'm not a controlling asshole Allyson, I'm trying to keep everyone safe and you're not the only person on that list. Every move any of us make affects everyone else in our family" he shook his head 

"I'm sorry" I whispered as I wiped a tear from my face 

"I know you're not used to this, I understand, I'm trying to be patient, but I swear to God you make it extra hard for some reason" 

"I'll try harder" 

"You have to" 

I brought my knees to my chest and wrapped my arms around myself while I tried to stop myself from crying, I felt useless and pathetic while he just stood there and watched me. 

"Ally" he sighed 

"Just stop Yoongi, I get it. You can go now. Go do whatever the fuck it is you have to get done. I won't leave, I'll just fucking sit here" 

He sighed and shook his head "it doesn't have to be l-"

"Go" I whispered "please just go. I don't want to do this anymore. I don't want to do this right now. Just leave me alone" 

"Okay" he walked out of the room and it only made cry harder. How did it get like this? 

I went to our bathroom and showered before getting dressed in some booty shorts and a tank top. I made my way down to the gym in the basement and began working out. I plugged my phone into the sound system and began punching and kicking the fuck out of the punching bag, not caring that I didn't bother to put gloves on, or that my form was off. 

I just needed to blow off some steam. 

Vincent
Tod
Aubrey
Amanda
Their men

All of their blood was on my hands. 

I never killed anyone, but I sure as hell felt like it. Why? Why me? What the fuck did I ever do to anyone? I met Yoongi and my whole world crumbled, I picked myself up and started building a new one for myself, and now that one is shaking under my feet threatening to crumble away faster than the other. 

"Woah, calm down" Hoseok said as he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me backwards, I let out a frustrated yell and lifted my legs to kick the bag before he turned my body away from it "Ally, calm the fuck down" 

"I can't" I realized I had tears rolling down my cheeks and I could hardly breathe, and then I noticed my nose was bleeding "Fuck" 

"Relax, it's okay, it's okay" 

"Hobi" I sobbed as I fell to my knees, he went down with me and kept his hold on me from behind while I wiped my blood on my shirt and cried out in broken sobs 

"Want to talk about it?" He asked as he sat next to me on the sofa 

"I'm just..tired" 

"Yeah, tired" he snorted 

"I'm just..I don't fucking know anymore Hobi. I'm over it. All of it. Everything fucking sucks and I'm just so fucking done"

"Maybe you should talk to Yoongi?"

"He doesn't want to hear anything I have to say right now" 

"Give him time"

"More time? Time to ignore me while I sit in this fucking house by myself? Another night to not come to our room? More time to tell me how stupid I am? How selfish I am? I finally make friends and they want to fucking kill me because Yoongi just had to tell Tod he was my boyfriend and it fucking snowballed into the fucking shit show it is now" 

"You didn't help that any either though. You played along and then fucked him and then ended up actually dating him. And let's not forget when you fucking went rogue which got your ass fucking kidnapped which ultimately was the reason why we had to fucking kill them in the fucking end anyway" he scoffed when he was done yelling at me, I couldn't respond, I just sat there with my chin on my knees trying not to cry 

"Ally, no one is expecting you to get the hang of everything quickly" he sighed "but you really do need to put in a bit of effort..we want to keep everyone safe. You're not selfish, or stupid. A bit naive? Sure" he nodded his head "you jumped head first into this thing with Yoongi before fully knowing each other. A mistake on both parts. However, you two together? It's beautiful to watch. When things are good, they're fucking amazing. He deserves love, to be loved the way you love him. And you the same, he's new to this, and it isn't an excuse. But I think the two of you just need to communicate more" 

"Fair point" I sniffled 

"Ally?" I looked up at Yoongi as he entered the living room "you okay?"

"I'm okay" 

"Can we talk in our room?" 

"I'll leave you guys to it" Hoseok said before pecking my temple and walking away making sure to pat Yoongi on his shoulder 

Well. 
Fuck.