Hermitcraft One-Shots

If Only

Warnings: Referenced Cutting, Blood, Depression, Feelings, 

Relationship: Grian/Zedaph

Summary: Grian feels that he is stuck in the past. What he didn't know was that someone was listening to him sing. (Using the short version that's in Descendants 1)

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Grian knew he was stressed when all his wings were out, all of them. Three beautiful pairs of wings floating against his back, slowly opening and folding in rhythm with each other.

He stood on a cliff just taking loud but deep breaths, just trying to calm himself down. He could see the purple eyes floating around his head.

He slowly brought himself to the ground, he planted his hands in front of him to keep him from falling off the cliff. 

His thoughts just kept racing.

Every memory.

Every scene.

Every punishment.

All of it just kept running.

A million thoughts in my head
Should I let my heart keep listening
'Cause up 'til now I've walked the line
Nothing lost but something missing

A memory of when he had just been taken by the Watchers.

I can't decide
What's wrong, what's right
Which way should I go

He stood, turning away from the very visible memory. Only to be encountered with one where he was locked in his room, alone, covered in cuts.

If only I knew what my heart was telling me
Don't know what I'm feeling
Is this just a dream?

If only I could read the signs in front of me
I could find the way to who I'm meant to be
Ah oh, if only

He dismissed the memory quickly, not wanting to go back to it.

Am I crazy? Maybe we could happen
Yeah
Will you still be with me when the magic's all run out?

This time a memory of him with the hermits. Then a single memory of Zedaph, he walked towards it as he sung that verse.

Tears began to form at his eyes when he reached out his hand to the memory, wanting its acceptance, its love, but it disappeared into a purple cloud.

If only I knew what my heart was telling me
Don't know what I'm feeling
Is this just a dream?

He pulled his hands to his head on the last line and fell to his knees as he finished the song.

If only, yeah
If only, yeah
If only, yeah
If only, yeahIf only
If only

His eyes clenched shut. Then he pulled his hands away from his head to plant them in front of him as he took gasping breaths.

"Grian?"

He looked up quickly, his wings stopping their motions and laid limp against his back.

"Zed..." Grian breathed, "How much of that did you hear?"

Zedaph kneeled beside him, "I followed you up here. I heard it all. I saw it all."

Grian looked away from him, but Zed put two fingers under his chin and forced him to look at him.

"You really went through hell, didn't you?"

"I-... Zed-"

"Grian, you don't have to make excuses, or give me reasons for why or how you've been through all this. You can't always be stuck in the past."

"I don't want to be."