Changing Tune

26. Closer than I thought

Chapter 26: Closer than I thought

Ellie's POV

*****

My heart beating was the only thing I could hear as Blake pulled away, a light pink tint on his cheeks before he let out a slight laugh and looked down at the ground. I bit my lower lip, trying to get myself to calm down so that he and I could properly talk about everything. 

I liked Blake, probably more than I had ever liked Luke, but our relationship was a complicated one. Both of us knew that we could not just do as we pleased and expect the whole world to go with it. 

"Well," Blake nervously chuckled as he shifted his gaze to me. "That was, nice."

"Nice?" I asked, looking at him with raised eyebrows, finding his choice of words rather interesting. 

"Well, what else can I call it?" he exhaled as he got up from his swing, leaving it swinging to and fro, "incredible? Fantastic? Amazing?"

I could feel my cheeks heating up at his words as my heart seemed to not have any plans to slow down any time soon. I hated the fact that things could be so perfect and simple, and yet they were so tortuous. 

"Yeah, that's three words for it," I chuckled, placing my hand on the cold metal of the swing, leaning my head against it. 

Blake sighed before leaning against the metal bars holding the swing set in tact and looked at me, his eyes scanning my face before a small frown formed on his.

"Look, Ellie, I don't know about you, but I can't be just friends with you. I love being around you, you're the only person who seems to give me a break from all of the torture around me. I can't let James tell me that I can't be around someone who makes me happy," he said, the pain evident in his voice. 

I could feel my heart tighten as I looked at him. I had only been in the band for a couple of months, yet Blake had to endure all of that from James for far longer. For some reason, James seemed a lot more strict when it came to Blake than he was with Adam and Dylan. Then I came along, and not only did he become harsh with me, but he also became tougher with Blake. 

"Blake, I can't be the reason that James makes your life hell. You love this band. You built it with your friends and I can't ruin your experience," I said softly, knowing that he knew more than I did the consequences of what a relationship with each other could lead to. 

"You're not the one ruining my experience, James is. He has been controlling our lives for two years now and I can't take it anymore. Don't you get it, Ellie? Being around you is far from ruining my experience," he said as he walked closer to me and sat back down on the swing, his eyes never leaving mine. "You can't tell me that I have to spend every single day looking at you and knowing that we couldn't do anything about our feelings because of someone who is just trying to dominate us."

My eyes scanned his face. He was pained and angered, and that was evident from his broken looking eyes and the way his jaw was tightened. I knew that even if I was trying so hard to fight it, I could not manage to be around him and not do anything about my feelings. That certainly did not work out very well before. 

"What if we don't have to?" I asked as I took a deep breath, wanting to make sure that I was a hundred percent certain of what I was about to say. 

He looked at me questioningly, his eyebrows creasing as he gave me his utmost attention. I knew that what I was about to propose was risky, and that it would certainly not work in the long term. Yet, Blake had become someone important to me, and I did not want to lose him because of other people.