Being Alive [Charlie Barber]

Chapter 11: Difficult

Charlie's back hurt. It really fucking hurt. And his shoulders did and somehow his hips too? That was a new one for him. But despite the pain, when he woke up he had a large sleepy smile on his face as he pulled you closer into his arms.

Your bed was way too small for him, even if you weren't sleeping with him, he would've been uncomfortable on the mattress that was a fraction of the size of his at home. He slept on the couch often (not by choice) but it was different because he could prop his legs up and move however he wanted. With your body all wrapped up in his and his feet hanging off of the bed, it wasn't exactly a luxurious sleep.

But Charlie loved it. If it was up to him, he'd invest in a good chiropractor and spend every single night with you in your small bed.

He tried shifting slightly but it was impossible, you were practically on top of him and you looked so peaceful. He didn't want to wake you up. Instead, Charlie ran his fingers gently through your hair and pressed his lips to your forehead, sighing comfortably.

It was raining gently outside and the sound of the drops hitting the pavement and the gentle hum of the city on the other side of your window was calming to him. It had been so long since he felt this way, Charlie almost forgot what it felt like to be content.

He thought back to the night before and how disappointed he'd been when he saw you weren't in bed with him. When the two of you first started this 'relationship', it had been just an avenue for him to relieve his lust. Charlie wanted you so badly and he didn't care about how messed up it was, he had to have you.

But it was different now. There were feelings involved and he was in too deep to write it off as just a few moments of passion. It was more complicated because he couldn't tell himself that this was a mistake, that he gave into his urges that had been abandoned for so long. He felt deeply towards you and he didn't think that was possible for him at this point in his life.

It was a scary thing, to take such a big risk by being with you. But it never felt like the wrong thing to do, despite all of the circumstances. Most of the time, he felt like he was just existing. Getting up to go to work then coming home and fulfilling his duties there as well. No praise, no excitement. With you, he just felt so fucking alive.

You stirred in your sleep, making a small noise that resembled a yawn as you buried your head further into Charlie's chest, the soft material of his pajama shirt. You were starting to wake up but you weren't sure if you wanted to yet. Waking up meant eventually saying goodbye to Charlie and goodbye to your weekend alone together. You didn't want it to end.

Charlie looked down at you, letting a relaxed smile fall onto his lips when he saw that you were beginning to wake up. He rubbed your back gently and pressed a kiss to your forehead. "Good morning, sweetheart." He said to you in a voice deep with sleep.

You made a 'hmph' noise as you wrapped your arm around him and pressed your face in against his chest to block out the light sneaking through from the gap in your curtain. You didn't want it to be the morning, you wanted to go back in time to last night when he showed up at your door with your hair tie around his wrist.

"Is someone grumpy?" He teased you with a low chuckle. When you responded with a similar noise of frustration, he dug his fingertips into your side gently, tickling you. "Come on, honey. I thought you'd be in a better mood to wake up with me."

After your laughter died down from the way he was tickling you, you moved so that you could face him, moving some of his soft hair away from his eyes. "I love that you're in my stupid little bed with me. I just don't want you to leave." You yawned, your smile slowly falling. "I don't want to go back to pretending you're just my boss."