The Aberrations of S.I.D.E.

No. 6: Family

"I still don't get why you didn't ask me for help," Remus groused, stabbing at his hash browns. "I'm an expert at taking down assholes. You know that."

"Yes, but you also got absolutely no sleep the night before due to overindulgence of sugar," Janus reminded him. "I thought I might go easy on you and give you a rest."

"Plus, we were trying to avoid having a dead body on our hands," Virgil added, pointing his fork at him. "Things would've gone downhill the moment that little punk called Janus 'freaky-looking.'"

Remus's head snapped up. "He what?"

Janus slowly closed his eyes and buried his head in his hands. When he'd told Remus about the confrontation, he'd left out the part about Dexter's reaction to his looks, and for good reason. Apparently, that reasoning was lost on Virgil.

"Yeah, he'd apparently never seen someone with vitiligo before." Virgil gave him a confused look. "Did Janus not tell you about that?"

"No, but I'm gonna let that slide, since I have an underclassman to kill," Remus said, standing up.

Janus grabbed him by the sleeve. "Leave it, darling. Virgil's creature probably knocked enough sense into him."

"That's not enough! He called you freaky! He deserves to die!"

"Look, you know I'm hot, I know I'm hot, and he's just an idiot who can't see past his own dick, so sit down and rid your mind of thoughts of murder," Janus told him, gently pulling him back down. "I do appreciate you defending my honor, but it's already been taken care of."

"But I like defending your honor," Remus mumbled. "And I like doing heists with you."

"I know, darling, I know," Janus said, kissing him on the cheek. "You're my knight in rusted armor, and I love you for it."

Logan looked up from his omelet. "Isn't the expression 'knight in shining armor?'"

Remus snorted. "Please. Like I'd ever be so obsessed with appearances that I'd make my armor shiny all the time."

"Yes, but rusted armor is highly impractical---"

"Just let us be romantic and don't bother us," Janus told him.

Virgil nudged Logan. "Don't you ever give Patton little pet names?"

"Certainly not," Logan said, adjusting his tie. "He's the one who gives me pet names. I don't find it necessary to express my affection for him in such a childish manner."

Janus raised an eyebrow. "I distinctly overheard you call him 'Starlight' the other day."

Logan flushed. "That---that is taken out of context---"

"I really can't imagine how it would be different in any other context, Lo."

"Would you---"

"Hey, death goddess alert!" Virgil said, high-fiving Persephone as she came up to them. "How're you doing? How's freshman year?"

"Going pretty well so far," Persephone answered. "Um---Jan, could I talk to you for a sec?"

Janus blinked, surprised. "Um, yeah, sure." He got up and followed her out of the dining hall.

"So," he said, leaning against the wall. "What's this all about?"

"Nothing really important," Persephone answered, scratching the back of her neck. "Just... feels a bit awkward, having to thank your idiot brother in a crowded dining hall."