The Aberrations of S.I.D.E.

No. 30: Memories and Mishaps

To say that Virgil was in awe of the twins's old mansion wasn't accurate. It was more like impressed jealousy mixed with anger.

"What the fuck!" he shouted, gesturing to the huge entrance hall. "You guys lived here?! What the fuck! This is New York! This is insane! This is unfair!"

"Don't be fooled by the glitz and glamour," Roman muttered, pushing him along. "Some of my worst memories haunt this building like long-forgotten ghosts."

Remus gasped, jerking his head up. "Oooh, what if this place is haunted? We could get Pam and Pearl down here and find out---"

"I think Pearl's too busy with her new datefriend to bother," Janus said. "And right now, Pam needs to focus on asking my sister out, because Seph sure as hell isn't going to do it herself."

"Have we figured out a ship name for them?" Roman asked. "Because I was thinking maybe 'Persepam' or 'Pamsephone---'"

"I've been using 'Doppelessence,' myself."

"Oooooh, nice."

Remus did a spin in the middle of the hall. "Hey, not all of the memories from here are bad. Remember when I learned about Rube Goldberg machines in school and decided to try some out at home?"

Roman raised an eyebrow. "Yeah... I wouldn't classify that as a good memory."

"Oh, come on, just because I managed to egg you once---"

"You ruined my favorite shirt!"

Janus grinned. "Roman, just out of curiosity, is... The Picture still around?"

Roman's eyes doubled in size. "Oh my---Virgil hasn't seen The Picture!"

"What's The Picture?" Virgil asked.

Remus looked like he'd just witnessed a train wreck. "No, no, no, no, not The Picture---oh, fuck, why didn't I burn that before I left?"

Janus leaned in eagerly. "Where's The Picture, Roman?"

"Drawing room! Follow me!" Roman raced off down one of the halls, Janus and Virgil on his heels.

"NO!" Remus yelled, running after them.

"Seriously, what is The Picture?" Virgil repeated. "I'm getting a sense that it's super embarrassing for Remus, but what is it?"

"I don't want to spoil the surprise," Janus answered.

Roman screeched to a stop in front of a room and ushered them all in. Virgil got momentarily distracted by the plushy couches, fireplace, and view of the city from the huge windows.

Remus fell to his knees, clasping his hands. "Mi serpiente! Don't show Virgil The Picture! I'll give you whatever you want!"

"Oh, darling, what more could you give me?" Janus told him, giving him a kiss on the forehead. "You're already everything I've ever wanted."

"Don't you dare be cute in this situation!" Remus screeched.

"Found it!" Roman sang, picking up something from the mantle and waving it around.

"Lemme see, lemme see!" Virgil said, grabbing it from his hands. Remus let out a wail as Virgil instantly burst into hysterics.

It was a photo of Remus at about seven or eight, wearing a school uniform while sitting on a stool with a pouty expression. He had a lime green mustache drawn on his face, and someone had put a Dunce cap on his head.

"So, the story behind this---" Roman began.

"Just---just give me a minute," Virgil choked, still laughing. "Oh my god---"