The Aberrations of S.I.D.E.

No. 48: Crossed The Line

"You're really gonna put Uncle Andre next to your Great-Aunt Greta?" Remy said, peering over Emile's shoulder. "Isn't she the one that got banned from Disneyland for hitting Mickey with her purse?"

"It was a protest against the way they've benefited from capitalism, so I think it'd be a good fit," Emile told him. "They'll have a lot of stories to tell between the two of them."

"All right, I trust your judgment." Remy tapped the very bottom of the seating chart. "Put Dice here."

Emile sighed. "Remy, we are not putting your brother in the problematic-family seats."

"Yeah, I know, I just thought that'd piss him off."

"He's going near the front."

"Okay, jeez." Remy craned his head around Emile's office chair. "You sure about putting the Sinister Six up front? People will think you're playing favorites."

"Well, these kids have saved the school and each other on several occasions, so I think they deserve front spots," Emile said, licking the nub of the pen he was using. "Besides, all the other students who said they'd come have seats near the front, too."

"As long as your parents and Maman are up there, too, right?" Remy reminded him.

"Of course they'll be up there. It's a given. In fact—" Emile scribbled Marcelle's name onto the sheet— "your mom is going right next to Brainwave's team."

Remy sat on the desk. "I dunno why they like her so much. I mean, she's just my mom. I already told them what she was like."

"Yeah, well, you neglected to mention to them that she was an African-French, modern Auntie Mame, so that might have factored into their love of her," Emile noted.

"Oooooh, a non-cartoon reference?" Remy said, grinning. "What's gotten into you, mon cher?"

"I like musicals, too, I'm not one-dimensional."

"That's right." Remy kissed Emile on the forehead. "You're easier to love that way."

Emile kissed him back. "I pride myself on being easy to love."

"So, uh..." Remy stroked Emile's hair thoughtfully. "What do you think we're gonna do after we get married?"

"I'm pretty sure we'll go on our honeymoon," he responded. "You were gonna take me to Paris so you could show me all the touristy stuff from a non-tourist's point of view, right?"

"After that, even," Remy said. "I know we've been living together for a while now, but how do we deal with the... uh, the sleeping issue?"

Emile let out a small laugh. "I think you already know how to deal with it."

"That's not me dealing with it! That's me stress-cooking! I don't normally make three-course breakfasts in the middle of the night!"

"It's very sweet of you to do that, but I'm completely fine with you sitting in the living room and watching TV after we're... done, so to speak." Emile tapped him on the nose. "Just as long as they're shows I've already seen. You still haven't finished Adventure Time."

Remy groaned. "I'm starting to think that it's impossible to finish that show. I don't think I'm even halfway through season 6."

"Well, congrats, then, you're more than halfway over with the show."

"But I haven't even gotten to the super gay parts—"

"Remy, every moment Marceline is on screen is a super gay part," Emile said. "And every time she appears with Bubblegum is twice as gay."