The Aberrations of S.I.D.E.

No. 42: So Kind

"I'm so fucking stupid," Persephone sobbed, shoveling another spoonful of mint chocolate chip into her mouth. "Why would Pam actually like me like that? She's infinitely cooler, I'm lucky that she even considered being my friend—"

"There, there, Seph, it's all right," Janus soothed, patting her on the shoulder. "You're the coolest person in existence and you know it."

"THAT'S NOT WHAT I'M UPSET ABOUT!"

"I really don't think I should be here," Virgil stage-whispered from across the room. Janus gave him a warning look.

In all honesty, Virgil had literally no clue why he was here. One minute, he'd been sitting quietly in his room reading Gideon the Ninth per Roman's request, and the next, Janus had barged in and dragged him down to the freshman dorms. Now, he was watching a girl who he had literally never seen cry, even when Janus had been taken, bawling into an entire carton of ice cream.

So, yeah. Virgil was pretty sure this was none of his business.

"Look, she kissed you first, so she clearly has feelings for you," Janus said. "She just panicked afterwards, all right? It happens."

Persephone sniffed, wiping her nose. "You sure about that?"

"Positive! It happened with Remus after he kissed me for the first time. Only difference is, you froze up and couldn't tell her how you felt."

"Oh, thanks, Sunshine, I feel so much better now."

Janus glared at her. "I am trying to help you here, okay? What I'm saying is, you can't wallow forever. You need to woman up and ask the girl out."

"Okay, can I please go back to my room and continue reading about lesbian necromancers?" Virgil asked, raising his hand. "Why'd you drag me here?"

"Just hang on," Janus hissed, then turned back to Persephone. "You know she likes you now, so what the hell are you waiting for?"

"Jan, just because it worked out for you doesn't mean it's gonna work out for me. You've got an ego that's too big for your body and confidence to match. I don't." She grabbed a tissue and blew her nose. "Besides, Pam is way classier than your octopus-with-rabies boyfriend."

"Octopi don't get rabies, you pissy little weasel."

Persephone flipped him off. "Thought you were supposed to be comforting me, fuckweed."

"I'm your older brother, Seph, insulting you while comforting you is something you should expect." Janus took the now-empty ice cream carton out of her hands. "Back to your love life with your bubblegum-Lydia-Deez girlfriend—"

"Were you not listening? I have no love life!"

"Well, you certainly won't if you keep on crying willy-nilly about one small setback," he continued, getting up. "Pam could not be more perfect for you, Seph. You like the same things, you've both got a troublemaker side, you love the macabre—for Shiva's sake, she summons ghosts. She is your Hades and she has stolen your heart, and it is up to you to let her know that."

Persephone glowered at her brother. "And how exactly can I do that when she brushes off the subject at every opportunity?"

"By doing something she can't ignore. Wait here." Janus ran out of the room, closing the door behind him.

Virgil blew his bangs out of his face. "Yeah. Still no idea why I'm here."

"I don't mind you being here," Persephone told him. "You're definitely more stable-minded than Jan is."