The Aberrations of S.I.D.E.

No. 13: 07734

"Since when do I have to be at Divinity Circle meetings?" Augustus complained. "I wasn't required even when Mom did trust me with shit."

"You're allowed to go, so use that to your advantage," Ian told him. "If you want to take this thing down, you need to know your info."

Augustus gave him a look. "Then why the absolute fuck do I have to wear this... this fancified noose?"

"Gusty, it's called a tie, and it makes you look presentable in front of the psychopaths."

"What if I don't want to look presentable in front of the psychopaths?"

"Well then you lose the other eye, Gusty," Ian said, giving Augustus the universal I-will-kill-you grin. "If I have to wear sleeves for this thing, then you have to wear a tie and collared shirt."

Ian's parents would be at the meeting, so he'd taken the time to dig out the only thing in his wardrobe that actually had sleeves---a slate-grey suit with a snowman tie. ("That's my mini-rebellion," Ian had explained the first time Augustus had seen him with the suit. "If I have to dress like a businessman, I reserve the right to wear a ridiculous tie.")

Augustus sighed. "Okay, I'm ready---"

"No, you aren't," Ian cut in, taking off his sunglasses. "Those aren't professional unless you're a Man In Black."

"Frosty, give me those."

"No." Ian pocketed the sunglasses. "Let's go. We've got psychopaths to chat with."

"You do realize you're also talking about your parents, right?"

Ian gave him a look. "Your point?"

"Your parents aren't so bad compared to mine."

"Everyone's parents are saints compared to Tina Macklemore," he pointed out. "Besides, if you willingly join the Circle, you're a psychopath. I don't make the rules."

"Yeah, yeah, you're right," Augustus muttered.

.............

The meeting room was never an especially tense place.

You'd expect a room where a worldwide evil organization did their meetings, whether it was virtually or physically, to be imposing and scary, filled with serious business-like people. Instead, the large white room was brightly lit at all times---either by the skylights or the gigantic floor-to-ceiling windows on the far side---and was always filled with snacks.

Even the Circle members who showed were pretty cheery. Well, okay, Maximilian and any member of the Jacobi family were as antisocial as ever, but everyone else was all ready to chat and make small talk before the meeting started.

Somehow, that was even scarier than the stereotypical view.

"Oh, god, hide me," Ian muttered. "I see my parents."

Augustus looked around, confused. "Where are---"

"IAN! There you are, sweetheart!"

Erla Gunnar ran over to them (somehow not tripping even though she was wearing six-inch heels) and gave Ian a kiss on the cheek.

"Hello, Mother," Ian said tonelessly.

"Ian! So nice to see you!" Stefan Gunnar boomed, walking up and clapping Ian on the shoulder. "You are growing into a very fine young man, you know! Chip off the old block!"

"Maybe if you grew your hair longer..."

"Maybe if you got a haircut, hmm?" Stefan ruffled Ian's hair. "You are going to have to clean yourself up eventually if you want to take over the business."