Turn Around

Chapter 11

The bus ride back to the hotel is painfully silent. Turns out I wasn't the only one who heard what happened in the locker room. One of the younger ones heard and it spread pretty fast. There were a vast amount of reactions.

Becky sitting with Kelley rubbing her back while whispering words of support in her ear.

Emily at the back of the bus yelling at Alex who is uncharacteristically quiet.

Allie and Carli both looking unsure of whose side to be on or if they should be on a side at all.

Ali and Ash sitting in front of Tobin and I turned towards us trying to keep Tobin and maybe even themselves from focusing on the situation.

Megan staying silent but her eyes filled with disappointment.

Julie and Crystal sharing earbuds in their own little bubble.

Rose, Lindsey, Mal, and Sam who look like they wanna rip Alex's head off right along with Emily.

Sometime during my observations Tobin must've waved off Ali and Ash since now they're no longer stretching to see us. "How are you feeling?" Her head falls onto my shoulder and I place my arm around her shoulder. "Embarrassed. I can't imagine how Kell must be feeling. From the sounds of it the whole team knows about her old feelings. I know she likes her privacy; we've always been similar in that regard. Considering all that just happened I'm okay promise. I think I should talk to both Al and Kell though since my name was brought up. My own fault though I was the one who made that comment about kissing and telling at breakfast the other day."

"Don't blame yourself none of this is your fault. I might have a few choice words with Alex later actually, Kelley too of course." Shockingly there's no objection to my sentence. "No telling me not to?" Tobin lets out a huff and just shakes her head before saying, "Chris I'm sorry that I never told you. You're probably not mad because you don't normally get mad about these things, but I know you don't love secrets." As if I'm not keeping a huge one right now.

"Tobs don't worry about it really. The only person I'm the slightest but angry with is Alex. I cannot believe she cheated on Serv with both of you. Should someone tell him?" I'm not sure who would tell him. Not like Alex would. Maybe Kelley would be up for it. She'd probably need someone with her though. Perhaps even Tobin. I doubt Serv would be mad enough to yell at Kelley, or Tobin for that matter, but it'd be better if there were two of them. It'd make me feel better at least. I'm totally getting ahead of myself here.

"If I were him I'd wanna know. Do you think it should be one of us? Kelley and I that is."

"Yeah probably since we know Alex won't."

She murmurs a "yeah" next to me and looks towards the back of the bus. The scenes calmed down a little, Emily is no longer yelling and has switched seats with Becky who isn't saying a word to Alex. It seems to be forgotten for now which is definitely a good thing.

Team dinner is tense to say the least. Everyone has picked a side by now; Kelley and Tobin's to be exact. No ones said a word to Alex since the bus and it looks like that's gonna continue. Allie and Carli are by her side, but neither look like they particularly want to be.

Conversations flow normally except whenever Alex pipes in it goes completely ignored by everyone. The team doesn't seem to feel too guilty about it and neither do I honestly. Okay maybe I do a little. I shouldn't she hurt two of my best friends, but there's must've been a reason. She said she was in love with Kelley after all so there's something much deeper than just curiosity. Shit i'm staring, I'll just talk to her after dinner. Someone should at least listen to her side even if it won't change their allegiance.

Dinner continues to be just as awkward and as we are all walking out I catch Alex. "Hey come to my room for a minute I wanna talk. Tobs will be with Kelley so we can just be alone."

Our journey is accompanied by more silence until we get into the room. Both of us take seats on my bed and I begin, "As you can guess I'm a little pissed just like everyone, but I wanted to hear you out. No one else seems to want to and I know if I was you I'd want someone to. So go."

Alex smiles a little clearly relieved someone's listening. "Shit Christen I don't even know why I did it in the first place. It's probably the dumbest thing I've ever done and of course I just had to involve Tobin in it. Listen I really did, and do, love Kelley. It's just different for me because so many eyes are on me and everyone has all these expectations for me to be this perfect girl. Me loving Kelley has never fit that and it scared me. I wanted to be with her so much and while I love Serv it's never compared to how I feel about Kell. When she told me we were done it completely broke my heart even though she had every right to. So sleeping with Tobin just made me feel in control. It wasn't right and that's not an excuse, but that's why I did it. I'm so sorry Christen I don't even know what to do."

By the end she'd started crying a little. What she said makes sense. I may be known, but I'm no where close to being as in the spotlight as Alex is all the time.

"Are you in love with Serv?"

Alex just sadly shakes her head and begins to cry harder.

"Alex you have to tell him. I mean all of it too. If it were you you'd want to know no matter how much it would hurt. You both deserve to find someone who you can love and can love you."

My arms tightly wrap around her and I decide to just let her cry.

"It's so hard."

"It is hard Alex. Once upon a time I was terrified to live my truth. Being around people on this team has completely changed that for me. There's so many bad ass gay women on this team who are so successful. You don't need to announce it to the world, but I promise you'll be much happier if you're honest. If you decide to let the media know ever we will all be behind you even though we might be mad right now."

Alex hugs me tightly and sighs. "Yeah you're right. Maybe I'll tell the world someday but for now I need to talk to Kell and Tobs. Do you think they'll ever forgive me?"

"It'll take a while but you're Kelley's best friend and Tobin can't hold a grudge for forever. You've known them for so long they can't just forget you. Just work hard to show them how sorry you are."

We stay like that for a few more minutes until there's a knock on the door and Tobin comes in.

I get up and leave them to it.