Dave x Sport + William x Henry Oneshots

Dee . . . ? (Davesport) {2}

Time: 4:25
Perspective: Eggplant Bitch's - SORRY. I mean Dave's.

Location: Sport's House

Before you say: "BuT dAvE dOeSn'T kNoW wHeRe JaCk LiVes", you're stupid. HAVE YOU NOT FORGOTTEN DAVE HAS CAMERAS IN JACK'S HOUSE? LIKE - SERIOUSLY. DayShift At Freddy's 3, bad ending. You find Dee's scarf in a chest in the room with monitors, which is literally showing the fucking insides of your house. THERE ARE LITERAL PASSAGES INTO THE HOUSE, SAID SO BY DAVE. HE BUILT THE FUCKING FAZBUNKER TO GET EASIER ACCESS INTO JACK'S HOUSE AS WELL, SAID SO BY DAVE HIMSELF. 
Okay, off my rant.

I watched Sportsy asleep on his bed and smiled slightly. He shifted slightly, then he slowly opened his eyes. I stiffened as he sat up. Then there was an alarm. Why the fuck does he have a fucking Freddy's alarm clock - A voice sounded from lord-knows where. 'How did you turn off your alarm clock from your bed - are you made of elastic? Nevermind.' I mean, the voice isn't wrong - but also, who the fuck was that. 'Anyways - OH HOLY SHIT. WHAT THE FUCK. WHY THE FUCK IS THERE AN EGGPLANT IN YOUR HOUSE - oh wait . . . You know what, bye. Goodbye. I quit as narrator.' W h a t - *Motorbike Sounds*
'Did the - narrator just leave -' Sportsy blinked. 'On a fucking motorbike. Well, this is desolate.' Silence filled the air. 'WAIT A MINUTE - A FUCKING EGGPLANT - DID THEY MEAN DAVE -' He yelped and fell off the bed. He got up and looked around. ' O h - hi, Dave -' He stared.
'Hi, Sportsy. What the fuck was that, Sportsy.'
'T h e    n a r r a t o r.'
'But - did you hire - I -'
'No, they're just a sort of voice - that - follows me around.'
'Okay, how the FUCK did you turn off the alarm clock - Sportsy.'
'I refuse to answer that.'
'Okay, why's there a dog in your closet, Sportsy?'
'I refuse to answer that. After all, I should be asking the questions here - Davey.'
'Sportsy, don't call me that. You're makin' me blush!'
'I didn't think an aubergine could blush -'
'Well, Sportsy, you remember last night? Behind Fredbear's?' I asked. His eyes widened.
'Dee . . .' Tears came to his eyes.
'I assumed you were holding her scarf so I brought it with me.' I gestured to the scarf hanging off the side of the nightstand. He nodded blankly and took it in his hands and stared at it. 'Fredbear's's is under investigation, including all employees - Old Sport. If it was an employee who did it, they'll catch 'em and throw 'em in jail.'
'Yeah . . .' He nodded blankly.
'I wouldn' be surprised if it was one of 'em nightguards.' I said, knowing full-well I planted the evidence on Sportsy's ex, one of the nightguards.
'Why?' He raised an eyebrow.
'They're a lil' shady, especially if it's during the day. And I saw one of them around the area -' I clicked my fingers. 'What was his name . . .'
'His?' Sportsy raised an eyebrow.
'Yeah, it was a male.' I continued clicking my fingers. 'Ah! It was Ezio (haha - Assassin's Creed anyone? lol) C- whatever his last name was.'
'You mean - Ezio Calf-field, my married ex? The tall man with glasses and long black and blue hair?' He said, staring at me. 'The dude who has hunched posture and a messy uniform?'
'Yeah, you described him, Sportsy. And he's your married ex?' I asked.
'He wasn't in a relationship at the time, though. I'd never do that to someone. He cheated on me with the person he's currently married to.'
'What'd you see in that guy, Sportsy?'
'I don't know really.' He sighed, staring at the ceiling. 'He was just a jerk to me overall. Maybe it was his appearance because he looked a lot better than he does now.' He looked at me, sighing.
'Hm, I guess life after he cheated went way downhill. Which is deserved.' Especially for cheating on someone as perfect as you . . . I thought, shifting slightly. He yawned and rubbed his eyes. He swayed on his feet slightly. 'Old Sport, are you getting enough sleep?' I asked worriedly.
'Yeah . . .' He yawned.
'No you're not, go to fucking sleep.' I snapped. 'Either that, or I'll fucking tie you to your bed and keep you there -'
'Uhm -' *Motorbike sounds incoming*
'That was a little kinky there, Aubergine.' - Narrator
'BITCH, GO THE FUCK AWAY. YOU'RE LIKE A STALKER -' - Orange Man
'Ouch, okay.' - Narrator as motorbike sounds fade
'They do have a point though.' Sportsy said.
'It wasn't meant to be, Sportsy.'  I said, avoiding his gaze.
'I know it wasn't, Davey, it just sounded like it was meant to be the kinky.' I looked at Sportsy.
'Sportsy, if you knew it wasn't meant to be - stop talking about it.'
'M'kay.' He yawned.
'Now go the fuck back to sleep.'
'No.'
'I'll fucking do what I said.'
'Fine, fine.' He flopped onto his bed and lay down.
'Can you at least -'
'Cover myself with the duvet? Nah.'
'Hey! Do it.' He rolled his eyes.

(848 Words)

H e h e. I like Cannon Dave more,  b u t  I can't be bothered to write a more Cannon Dave story.