My redemption

ONE rule

Finally awake Niragi's is still sound a sleep, listening to the sound of his breath, I think back to last night

With his hand trailing my waist, one of his hand trails down to my hips and tugs at my dress. Kisses trailing down my neck, I start to slowly caress his chest and back. 

But then he stops.

Pulling himself back, he sits himself at the other end of our bed. What just happened... Sitting up, I feel a bit ashamed, maybe I messed up? Looking at him, he is breathing heavy and balding his fist holding the sheets.

"Did-Did I do something wrong?" Feeling embarrassed I feel like I want to cover myself up. 

"No, No" shooting towards me, he lifts my chin up "You didn't" laying himself beside me he pulls me into a hug and softly caresses my hair "I just don't kno" stopping, his explanation is only making me feel more insecure.

"I want to do this right" feeling his strong and fast heartbeat, he pulls me closer and caresses my back "I don't want to mess this up and I don't feel like making lo" he doesn't want to? is that what he is saying? Pulling away from his hold I sit up and he shakes his head

"That came out wrong" in a clear panic he starts to explain how here he had sex with so many people but he doesn't want to rush things, he wants to take things slow because he cares about me. 

But the only thing I heard was how he had sex with a lot of people

"A lot of people?" chuckling Niragi scrapes his throat "That is the only thing you took attention too?" glaring at him, he quickly apologizes. I don't know why I am even surprised, I knew what he was like. I guess hearing it from his mouth is something else.

"I know it is a cheesy thing to say, but" squeezing my hand, he makes me look into his eyes "I don't want to mess up with you. I" as he is slowly turning red, he is closing his mouth open and closing it again. What is he trying to say? 

"I like you" pausing, I nod. I know that. I mean, I hoped that "I love you" 

Love? He loves me? does he really? my heart beating fast, I start to rationalize it. We only know each other for a few weeks. A month or so. Isn't that way too fast? Like come on, how could you say it so quickly. But then again, we have been spending almost every second of the day together. 

"ehm.. Are you alright?" feeling Niragi softly tugging at my arm, I see how nervous he is looking at me, feeling embarrassed from expressing his feelings. Trying to hide my smile, I can't rationalize how I am feeling. Or how he makes me feel, but is scary to admit. Not only to him but to myself.

"I love you" 

Feeling nervous after saying it out loud, he is now frozen. A smile growing he pulls me in for a kiss. "I was so nervous, I thought that you were going to run away" 

As we are spooning in bed, his hand is trailing figures on my arm. I want to cerise this moment for ever. We were brought into this messed up place, but he is bringing me more peace and love than I ever had before. In his strong arms I feel myself slowly falling asleep listening to Niragi whispering to me. I wonder what he is saying...

Getting red only thinking back, I try to leave his hold, but his arms tighten around me. How can he sleep so comfortable like this. With his hair looking so fluffy I can't stop myself from trailing my hand trough it. And there we were, laying snuggled up. His arms wrapped around my waist, his head on my chest, my hand trough his hair. How much I want this to be back in the real world.