𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐍 | 𝗸𝗮𝗿𝗹 𝗷𝗮𝗰𝗼𝗯𝘀

²⁴𝙋𝙀𝘼𝘾𝙀

〚 ♥〴 〛

IT WAS TOO HOT. his legs were enveloped in heat, annoying him to no end. it was technically his fault, the warm and thick blanket was covering his already sweatpants clad legs.

karl was wearing a loosely fit t-shirt that he was itching to tear off. the silence in his apartment was the only thing keeping his eyes open, he's never heard silence quite this loud.

it's like his private and secrete thoughts were being bled into the thick air, his own words suffocating him.

he wanted to be with her so bad. he wanted to call her his and give her all of his love but he can't because then, he won't have any left over for himself.

his thoughts have been plagued about this for days, it started with daydreams about how he can maybe ask her out.

then going towards if he even has the courage to ask her out. but it ended, and keep continuing, with the thoughts of if he even should. and why he can't.

but the blanket on his legs finally got to him, making him rip it off in a fit of childish frustration.

he sat up feverishly in his bed, hanging his legs over the side and threaded his hands through his slightly sweaty hair. "fucking hell," he whispered harshly under his breath.

the boy had been thinking all day. thinking about himself. thinking about clementine. thinking about how he just couldn't do that to her.

it would break her. she's already gone through tiresome nights of crying over a stupid boy. he doesn't wanna be that boy.

he really doesn't want to selfishly break her heart, but he doesn't understand that he's not selfish for wanting to do this.

karl jacobs is a man that is always full of energy, always being there for others. it made him momentarily happy to see his friends happy, whether it had to be at his expense or not, he would still be happy.

but he's beaten and broken down to ashes, now looking around for someone to help him up, like how he helps others, but there's no one. year long headaches knock him down to lifeless stares and meaningless actions.

he's tired. so fucking tired.

all he wants is peace. peace in the world, peace in his life, and peace within.

he wants his mile-a-minute thoughts to end. all they bring is a pit in his stomach that no one can fill, and nails digging into his delicate hands, breaking the skin out of the anxiousness swallowing him whole, trying everything to not drown.

the blame game is always being played in his head. who can he blame for all of this? the only correct answer is himself. he didn't wanna accept it, he wanted so badly to believe that it was his mother's antics early in his childhood that caused this or the constant demanding from his fans that drain him dry.

the world is never kind. hurricanes, earthquakes, and more affect so much. why? 'cause the world is a bitch. and it's especially being rude to karl jacobs.

he doesn't like who he is and who's he become. there's too many monsters inside of him that only hurt others. and then therefore hurt him.

"bella, you're not helping." karl exasperated towards the clueless cat, who was moving around repeatedly in the crook of his shoulder after he sat back down.

a quiet meow escaped from bella, her now angry at him for moving.

"i'm sorry bella," he whispered, petting her softly, while also harshly rubbing his eyes, only hoping that the tears go away, and stay away.

NOT THE PLAN
𓂂 ˚ 𓂂 ₒ ° ₒ 𓂂 ˚˖⋆
and the author speaks <3
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uh hey 😁
how r y'all doing?
okay sorry for being MIA for so long, and also this short chapter since i had no more inspiration but i wanted to get something out
i didn't proofread oops
okay bye ily go drink water and vote or u suck