A New Beginning [ divergent x reader ] (not complete)

1| Can I do this?

Everyday I think of when I am going to die. Will I die peacefully? Will I die an awful longing death? Will I die with someone I love?

In dauntless you're supposed to be brave, often I go from thinking that I am not supposed to think about death, yet death is just watching me over my shoulder everywhere I walk, every-time I do something.

"Are you going to eat that thing or what?" Christina asks me.

I suddenly focused on her, realizing that I was daydreaming.

"Huh?" I looked down at my muffin and said, "oh, yea I am" laughing a little.

"Are you okay? You seem... off" Alice asks, her mouth full of food. "Are you sad about Tris?"

Alice was an Amity transfer, so she always asked questions to determine how someone was feeling. She is surprisingly a good puncher and shooter for a former amity girl.

I scrunched my eyebrows. "No, no I'm fine I was just...daydreaming or something. I barely knew her"

I picked up my muffin and took a bite, examining the contents of it.

Tris. Beatrice Prior. She was one of the most well known people in our faction. Everyone looked up to her. She was everything people wanted to be. Brave, strong, intimidating, and courageous all together.

I was never friends with her, but we said things to each other from time to time when she trained us. Casual things like, are you going zip lining this weekend? Or, how did you get to throw your knife that way? She seemed nice, but also a person who scared the shit out of me.

"How are you feeling?" I ask Christina. She doesn't look as miserable as she did two weeks ago when she got the news.

At least she is cheering up a bit.

"Uh... why?" She asks with a small laugh.

I analyze her features for a second. She had long eyelashes, short dark hair that reached her slim jaw, and dark brown skin and eyes.

"Just wondering, you know...because of everything that has happened"

Christina and I were not close friends because I just started talking to her a few months ago. I like her though. She funny, smart, nice, but very daring. Tris was lucky to have her.

I wonder what it would've been like to be friends with both of them.

"You're asking me?" She snorts as if she were 100% fine.

I knew she wasn't though. Tris and her were very close. I would see them everywhere together.

"Look at Four over there" She nods her head in his direction.

I glanced at Four sitting alone at one of the cafeteria tables. He didn't seem like himself. He would be sitting with Tris and all of his friends, just laughing all of the time. Now he's just been eating alone, denying anyone who dares to ask to sit with him.

It's just seemed so tragic.

"He looks so.... empty" Vincent sits next to me, a candor transfer who was in my initiation class. All three of us stare at him.

"Do you have something better to do?" Alice scolds him.

"No, don't you Christina?" He smirks.

I make a concerned face at her and she rolls her eyes.

"It's true, he does look empty, dry, his humanity just all drained out of him" Peter sits down on the other side of me and grins. "Like you Christina!"